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Over You (Overdue)
by Soulo Jacob BourgeauMy kisses evaporated
In your arid, vapid expanse
Left you parched, adrift
In the oasis of your mind
02/07/2006 Posted on 02/08/2006
Copyright © 2024 Soulo Jacob Bourgeau
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Lacy D Phillips on 02/08/06 at 03:34 PM I love, love, love the discipline you show here. There is a sense of much restraint, as if there were more to say only it didn't need to be. |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 01/12/07 at 05:11 AM what a hilarious way to give another the ole' verbal brush off...lol.. |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 01/12/07 at 05:12 AM p.s. cerebrally speaking, of course..lol..;-) |
| Posted by Christel Crews on 02/22/07 at 03:15 PM such a punch of power without the excessive use of language.. sometimes words say too much! but not here... each word placed perfectly and carefully |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 02/23/07 at 03:09 AM hello again, reading this one over, I have a suggestion.. and that is>>>>'in the oasis of this vapid land'.. when you have time, please let me know what you think, ok? aloha..;-)> My kisses evaporated
In your arid, vapid expanse
Left you parched, adrift
In the oasis of this vapid land. |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 02/23/07 at 03:13 AM (LINE #1)My kisses evaporated/
(LINE #2)In your arid, vapid expanse/
(LINE #3)Left you parched, adrift/
(LINE #4)In the oasis of this insipid land/
<< Made a small typo on the last message>>>
aloha..;-) |
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