I hate how I can't spend a moment,
just one little moment
with my mother.
Tell her how thankful I am
and that I love her so much.

While I go out
and try to find excitement
or try to find myself...
well who knows what I'm really getting accomplished...
but I can't even appreciate her.

I DO, I SWEAR I DO.
But I need to tell her.

Lea's mother is gone,
but there is love,
it's evident...
My feelings are manifesting alright...
sure, manifesting feelings
of how I want love! But dammit I already have love!
What the hell else do I want?

If the slightest thing goes wrong,
everything can fall apart.

I'm still trying to figure that out.
While the old man lives a prosperous life,
the young child dies at three.
I'd like to think that some people are angels
and they're just not meant for this world.
They're here for only the shortest time,
just so we can get a glimpse of what
Heaven is like.

And so, thinking this,
apathy must resist.
I need to put effort
into what is now.
While now still is now
and while I still have things,
and love things
while they last.

12/13/2005