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Oblivion (Haiku)
by Soulo Jacob Bourgeaueyelids decompress
nocturnal oblivion
subliminal sea
11/23/2005
Author's Note: This is my first haiku. Critique welcome, I'm not so sure about it yet. It kinda has a nature reference.
Posted on 11/24/2005
Copyright © 2024 Soulo Jacob Bourgeau
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Eli Skipp on 11/24/05 at 12:07 PM For some odd reason this makes me think of Soylent Green. It is lovely and has great imagery! |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 11/24/05 at 03:25 PM Not bad for a first trot out the barn door. You have the magic 5-7-5 syllable combination. Nowadays, it commonly accepted that there are variants to the old standard nature theme, combining man and nature as you've done here. Cheers! |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 11/25/05 at 07:08 AM Wonderful imagery, and yes, good start to a haiku career. Look out Basho! ;-)
~Chelle~ |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 12/27/05 at 06:26 AM please send me the directions! :) I LOVE this!
—Jill |
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