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Clouds
by J. P. DaviesHere's the truth...
I've dropped so far so fast
and never caught my breath
now breathless, motionless
afraid.
Movement is once again obscured
by the one perfect cloud that trails me.
God I love that cloud.
So much so that I think
I should disappear
if it should evaporate.
And yet the sun is dimmed,
and I don't understand.
Here I sit, and fly from comfort
as if it were a life sentence
trying to find some balance
between what is
and what might be.
And still the ever-lofty cloud
reminds me that I'll never be dry again
drip.drip.drip.
10/30/2005 Author's Note: I'll work on this more later.
Posted on 10/30/2005
Copyright © 2024 J. P. Davies
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 11/01/05 at 03:17 PM Not bad Jordan. Good soulful expression. You might try changing the title to just Cloud, as you refer to 'it' as singular in the poem. IMO the poem would have a stronger closure by dropping that last line, with the second last line then as closing. Cheers! Hope all's well on the west coast despite the rainy season. |
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