funny...
i recall this corner well...
twice today
i've been dropped off here
the very place
i sit smoking one more from the pack
i swore i wouldn't buy
the hill on which i last
spoke
your name to you
the last time
i said
-i love you-

i wash my eyes in
peroxide
hoping the white bubbles
over flowing in place of
tears will burn your memory
from my vision
but you still dance away
in twilight blowing kisses
i will not receive
because another accepts them
more readily then i ever
knew how...

i wash my eyes in
peroxide
and they go blind
bleached-out and faded-in
like blue to green to gray
to blue and it continues.
i dare not call because
it would kill me
the last time almost did
or rather, still slowly is
you thought i was good for nothing
but i spoke your name
like none could before or
ever will again
i speak your name and
learn to hate...

i was sitting on this corner
smoking one more from another pack
i swore i wouldn't buy
and you were too stubborn
to cry
and again i forgot how
it should have been good-bye
instead
undeservingly enough it was nothing but...
see you around

...and
this-is-nothing-but-survival
honey.
don't forget it

07/09/2005