Its all very well to say that a haiku captures a specific moment in time. But the restrictions of the form can make it difficult to do! I find the important thing is to capture the haiku moment first, then turn it into a poem after. Like this: ~

Forget word counting and write down what it was you saw, the way in which you saw it and how it made you felt.

E.g. I was walking along the beach at scarborough. It was night and misty. I couldn't see very far. then a wind blew off the sea and in the movement I could see the castle with a crescent moon behind. Wow!

Then pull out the key bits~
beach, scarborough, night, wind, break in the mist, the moon behind the castle
(and might there be a possible play on words in this one - the idea of castles on the beach usually being sandcastles?)

From the key bits play hunt the haiku!

Not as easy as I might wish in my example as there are 17 syllables in the 'key bits'. I guess I might have to loose the word scarborough. Hmm - maybe I could cheat and have the word as a title? Not traditional of course but do I feel it matters?

night-time breeze
high above the beach
suddenly the castle wears the moon!

Not quite right - too wordy and somehow hasn't the wow factor...

misty summer night.
a sudden breeze.
There's the castle and the moon

Again not quite right. The problem is that I want too many things in it. A haiku often can only hold 2 or 3 nouns and I'm trying to fit in more.

Night-time beach.
paddling in mist the castle
wears a crescent moon

Hmmm... a bit fanciful but I rather like the ambiguities in it. And it holds 2 contrasting images with a sense of movement between them. This is probably the best I can do with it at the moment.

06/10/2005

Author's Note:
Really this essay follows one that is as yet unwritten. It began life in a discussion with Ian Daw - check out his haiku.
For a picture of Scarborough Castle (not one of mine) GO HERE

Posted on 06/10/2005
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