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by Kourosh Taheri-Golvarzi

Men made of gingerbread danced on their
toes and thought, 'why don't we go to where
rainbows and choc'late are flowing in
rivers?' and skipped like canastas of tin.

Pink, fluffy bunnies were dancing and
unicorns plenty were prancing
all across meadows and hills covered
green by the grass that above the earth hovered

Floating forever as though the ground was in motion,
green herbivores searched for nutritious, good, tasty and healthy
portions of goodness, yum, that's exciting, they were all in this ocean,
and toward the brightly-colored fairies made motions.

They basked in the warming, eternal glow
of chocolate-sprinkled jelly rainbows.

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy was the squirrel,
skipping, dancing, singing in a happy, happy world.
Down from his glass tree he quickly descended
when rumor of animal friends reached his abode.

he dashed out in a fit of wit and whimsy
and laid the smack down to anyone in his way
though his ego was rather flimsy
he was getting there no matter what

he found that his friends were trapped in the sewer
and he just had to get them out
but alas, he forgot to wear a helmet.

He heard voices, like cascades of watery music,
from depths squirrelkind had been keeping at bay.
'Nothing's quite like the aroma of goodness
that enters my nostrils on this very day'

The squirrel ran down to try and pluck his friends
from the murky depths of the sewery sewer
but, alas, he wasn't wearing his helmet

He quickly dove down, and though he couldn't swim,
he was always known for his obvious whim.
He got splattered on the head with a not-so-apple pie.

yes, some might indeed call it overly ripe
and he was one of them, and so did wipe
that brown smudge off his splattered crown

the squirrel was blinded by the crap,
lost his balance, and fell into the sludgy sewer
and was neither seen nor heard from again

he thought "if I only was wearing my cap"
as he floated ever on to the edge of sanity
where brown, corny darkness consumed him.

The moral of the story:
Never you a-go down into them there ol' sewers,
without a-wearing yer protective head wear.
Now, little kiddies, go play in the traffic...


Author's Note: Actually called "Happy Happy Happy!!!". My dear friend Lars Kinn Ekroll and I wrote this together as a collaboration. We were talking about new work, and thought it would be interesting to temporarily depart from the dark, gritty style to which we're both so darkly and grittily accustomed, and we came up with the idea to do a poem that would be so disgustingly, mind-numbingly happy that it would be retarded. However, over the course of writing this little masterpiece, Lars and I (and now, you) found that one should never leave it up to a pair of angsty, pissed-off metal kids with a snotty sense of humor to do "happy" poetry. Enjoy!

Posted on 04/08/2005
Copyright © 2024 Kourosh Taheri-Golvarzi

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 04/12/05 at 10:17 AM

freaking beautiful. i'm wiping tears from my eyes! you are genius!

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 07/04/24 at 11:27 AM

Entertaining read, and as an avowed chocoholic, this poem made me Happy Happy Happy!

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