i say to you
by Uriel Tovar
don't depend on me to follow through
the piercing skin of tissue walls
fragrant kisses on a handkerchief
stained with memories--
hard earned and fought for.
we could have gone through
to tomorrow and beyond
with (on me)
leaving behind blood red lip
you know the sound
of hard bones
i know the feeling
feelings of you
drowining in my
fed up with the constant
tocking of your breast.
but don't depend on me
to follow it through
your empty calls (no messages)
Posted on 04/06/2005
Copyright © 2020 Uriel Tovar
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Paul Marino on 04/06/05 at 07:35 AM|
there's some really deep stuff in there. the second stanza is great, the third amazing.
|Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 04/07/05 at 09:37 AM|
the second and third stanzas kicked my ass, and the last line just seemed to finish it up perfectly, making it complete.
|Posted by Richard D Frederick on 04/08/05 at 05:34 AM|
as classic as the subject matter - lost love - the choices and selection of the words weave a wonderful poem, the speaker obviously speaks of a woman, that much is obvious, and it seems clear to me there is a sense of frustration, of the speaker tired of being expected to be the one who finishes it, who always makes the effort. that's my interpretation. all in all, the form is as scattered as any free-verse and i like it. aside from some simple errors (easily corrected) and minor revisions i hope this is close if not THE final product. excellent poem.
|Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 04/09/05 at 03:31 AM|
Uriel, this is absolutely stunning. It captures emotions and weaves the word "love" into a display of caution, hurt, memories, longing and so much more. Bravo, my friend.