Yes, Lord, yes
I know all too well by now
I'm just not meant
To know peace in this life
And I ain't been workin
Quite hard enough
To make it to heaven
And collect on your promises
To me and whoever else bothers to learn of them

But you don't make it easy, Lord
Not lately, at least
And I feel a little overextended
I mean, I know you've got
A whole universe to tend to
But you are God
The One and Only
And I struggle to serve you
With the weight of my own
Out of control little world
Bearing down on me
Like so many boys
Who drink too much Guiness
On their days off
And then call me
Like I'm hot coffee
Or bread
Or sleep

I may have let it happen, Lord
But you know I didn't mean to
I swear I had no idea
Born without a clue
To equally clueless parents
How did anyone ever think
I stood a chance at all?

And I try to keep my head up
Lord I try
As sure as I kept
My love to myself that time
I try to carry on
Eyes fixed on you
Mind meditating on you
Ears searching for your voice
But there's such bright lights, Lord
And so many intellectual distractions
And noises, Lord, noises
Drowning you out
Some make my brain itch
Like Hillary Clinton's voice
Some I cant get enough of
Like Counting Crows, and their
Album of The Year, "August, And Everything After"

And boys, Lord
Irish ones, with an irresistable charm
I'm expected to overcome
Paychecks and bills
And Cyndi Lauper
In her infinite 80s wisdom
Always there to remind me
About how girls
Just wanna have fun, really

And I do, too
But I can't
I've felt you work in me, Lord
So many times
Your Love
Your Mercy
Your Endless Forgiveness
But somewher along the way
I must have pridefully cast it aside

Well, I need it now
And I've forgotten
How to humble myself to you
And be worthy of it

My place in this world
Has never been
Upwards, where my proud gaze rests
It's right here on the ground
With every other sinner
From Pope John Paul II
To Osama bin Laden
Not a single one of us
Should be casting stones
Any time soon
No matter how pious
We count ourselves
No one's karma is pure
No one's soul is unblemished
No one's heart is so hard
That you can't break it if you need to

And I'm begging you
Break mine, Oh Lord
I don't know how or why
I got so cold-hearted
And passionless
But please, Lord God
I can't feel this nothingness
A mintue longer
Its the worst feeling in the world
Help me earn back your love
I'll share it, I promise
And my own, too
Just call my name, dear Jesus
Like Lazurus, raise me from this living death
Heal me, Lord
And I'll make sure
Everyone knows
I owe it to you

03/17/2005

Author's Note: Amen.

Posted on 03/17/2005
Copyright © 2024 Amy Wustrin