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I Lost My Mind Once
by Marcus Jonesi lost my mind once, long ago
i couldn't handle real life anymore
so i just let go
normal things seemed overwhelming
and there was nothing inside of
me that even resembled the person that i
was
my head hurt all the time
my heart hurt all the time
my feelings were hurt all the time
i was falling
way down, way down
below below,
where the dead dwell
i wanted to die
but i wasn't brave enough
to wish it upon myself
for the dead envy the living
and torment the memories of
those who remember them
as they were
seconds feel like years
in the mind of the disturbed
and all thoughts feel blurry,
as if the fabric that is
the veil of dreams has become
soiled
soon, everything felt soiled
from the clothes on my back
to the place where i lived
to the very urges in my
own consciousness
dirty, dirty, dirty
life becomes many different
forms of "self"
self-inflicted self-deprecation
self-mutilation
self-destructive behavior
however, i did not have
low self-esteem
because i didn't even care enough
about my "self" to have
an opinion
love didn't matter
people didn't matter
life didn't matter
i didn't matter
no hope no soul no glory no guts
no heart no feeling no tears no touch
i shouldn't cry
i couldn't cry
i wouldn't cry
i am not weak
i am weak
help me help me help me help me
i thought my troubles was over
and that i had regained my sanity
but my problems only hid
they were still there
they're STILL here
and my mind is still gone... 02/25/2005 Author's Note: not really sure about that title. any suggestions?
Posted on 02/25/2005
Copyright © 2025 Marcus Jones
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Heide McAlister-Bates on 02/25/05 at 08:31 PM I like the title - I think it fits the piece, which happens to be very good. |
| Posted by Ava Blu on 02/26/05 at 03:35 AM I relate so much to this. No suggestions at all. Very real and raw. Just pure pain in this. |
| Posted by Shonda Chrissonberry on 02/26/05 at 05:16 AM once again ~ you have hit something in me ~ pure emotion ~ great write Marcus! |
| Posted by Uriel Tovar on 02/28/05 at 04:39 AM although i know it is a convention you might have wanted to use, i still think this might be stronger without so much repitition. |
| Posted by Holly H Dunne on 06/29/05 at 08:48 PM i like the repetition! and the title. i especially like the 3rd stanza. in fact i like the whole thing a lot. good read! |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 03/26/14 at 02:50 PM Congrats on POTD. |
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