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" 'I Don't Know' Is A Perfectly Acceptable Answer."

by Amy Wustrin

The late afternoon sun
Comes early all winter
To make up for a summer
Of delinquency

And I'm watching these days
As they get shorter and shorter
Yet longer and longer
All the while still only lasting
24 hours each
Bringing us one day closer everytime

Closer to what, no one can quite agree on
But one day closer to it, nonetheless
And I can't hold back the time like I once believed I could
The 80s may be coming back with a vengence and a half
But the furture is barrelling towards up at full speed anyway

I feel like I drift in and out of consciousness
And suddenly its weeks later than the last time I checked
And there's a vast amount of wasted time
That I cannot account for

I don't know where I'm going
And I can scarcely recall where I've been
But I dream about being in 4th grade
With my 8th grade body
And my 21 year old brain
Trying to atone
For my lifetime disregard of things like
Deadlines
And second hands
And weeks and years on their way out the door

But there's no reset button
And I can't try again tomorrow from the beginning
Life is not a video game, afterall
No, it's far more disturbing than that
And the controls are forever malfunctioning
So that every time i try to jump or kick or punch
I just end up crouching low to the ground
Hiding in the shadows until the coast is clear

My heart is weary
It's broken, it's jaded, it's cold
And it isnt nearly as glamorous as I'd imagined
And my mind is a constant rerun
Of selected memories that wont stop replaying
Won't go away
Won't keep quiet for five seconds while I try to think about now

With each ticking of the clock
I feel a minute older
I feel a minute crazier
And meanwhile
I'm expected to figure out
What, exactly, I want to do
For the rest of my life

12/19/2004

Posted on 12/20/2004
Copyright © 2024 Amy Wustrin

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Ashok Sharda on 12/20/04 at 02:37 AM

Yes, there's no reset button nor there's any time bank where we can deposit our time and use it judiciously.The life and the death walk hand in hand. Its upon us as to how we approach time. In a conscious way or in a mechanical way. I like the central idea of this piece of yours. You do realize this metaphysical problem which finds word in your poem.

Posted by Amanda J Cobb on 01/31/06 at 11:15 PM

Amy~ You've said here exactly what I've been feeling and have never been able to articulate. I mean it - I know EXACTLY how you feel. This is wonderful writing - simple, raw, honest. +fav.

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