I'm Focused- intensly staring at it all.

I'm Smart- I've taken it down, punctuated and understood.

so good - so good
take the other side
dimension of intellect
invisible, but there.

Sitting and Smiling.
My brain tears at itself
screaming - "Manipulation!"
"Compensation."

Here it goes!
Here's the attack-
of thoughts and ideas.
pulling out? I'm going in.

I'm newly motivated.
I don't care anymore
I hope you do sometime
Cause you can't have me.

My mind's mine

I'm not hurt

Just disgusted by myself.

I know it's genuine, but so is this
As long as I have a pen and paper

it's contained.
You won't see it - invisible
... relief...
The anger is spent.

But it will always
exist in these words.
Here they remain,
and here I say,
"Friend, come out and play."

04/28/2004

Author's Note: Wrote this after Shana said something to me... was over it by the next day. Edit: What she told me was she had sex with her ex boyfriend while I was courting.

Posted on 09/08/2004
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