I swore for as long as I can remember
that I would NEVER let a guy make me cry
I'd been hit enough
been hurt enough
that I never wanted to let a guy get that close again
never wanted to open myself up to that
and yet here I am
nearly 22
and I still haven't figured it the fuck out
I still get myself hurt
and wind up crying into my pillow
alone in a dark room.
And over what?
Some stupid guy who could care less
some stupid situation
that I am obviously overreacting to
because that's all I ever do.
So I'll appologize for wrongs I didn't commit
and then I'll let resentment grow in my heart.
It poisons my life and makes my heart sick
and I just let it happen
because I'm not strong enough to admit
that I am angry
that I am upset
that I am hurt
by actions and words of others
I swore I'd never let a guy make me cry
and yet it seems that's all I ever do.

07/27/2004

Author's Note: Just really bothered by stuff lately, been building up in my head not about just one guy but more of the collection of them in my life lately. I think I may become a nun.

Posted on 07/27/2004
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