Fear; To Rise Or Fall (1st year pathetic piece)
by J. P. Davies
I fear; for I am close to miniscule
compared in magnitude and scale.
Swept outofsight, for salvation,
attempting escape, before noticed.
In hindsight, clearly mal-practiced,
cowering below, past is regretful.
But redemption in rising comes too.
Reversed current upheavals shine.
Slinking beneath gooseflesh's rise,
the beast lies in wait, patiently.
Striking salvations are boiling,
finding courage before flight.
I fear; for I wonder if time
reveals the diminished self.
Or a swelling entity which
flies toward this terror.
Once more the rising of edge above,
greets the wind rush of freefalls.
Your visage speaks to descending;
obliging request I plunge out.
Falling insignificant to damage
inflicted, landing in your smile.
Once fraudulent smirkings of two,
now should I believe in you?
Resolving stays my revolving,
finding teeth behind my eyes.
But beaming out not gnashing,
strength before this dive.
Cars dash blindly north and south,
as ensnared smiles capture you, join
in the effluent plunge to pavement.
In seeing we float, but sinking
much faster for glimpses to pasts
beyond all control we fall away.
Touching bottom in stages, begins again
A challenge, to rise above this earth.
Kinder steps are hard to find without you.
In kindred falling, we landed conjoined
Needing supports to stand individually,
Gave my hand to you, grasping yours.
Finding not strength enough, we lean
Into each other; striding lockstep
Reaching forward as one, we find
Solace in the assistance offered,
Taking baby steps forward, as one.
Sometime we find the strength
To stand alone and stalwart.
Even then we cling to hands,
Pretending we still require
Supports that become habits.
Separation takes us, virtually walking.
Xanthous youth zigzags, allows breakage.
Carrying directions erodes familiarity;
go haltingly in juxtaposed kilter;
lacking mechanical nature of presence,
Reach quietly, so truth up rises verily.
We x-sponge years zanity and begin.
Carefully direct ere fallacy gravitates,
hard in-roads jestingly kill laughter.
Many names of providence quickly remembered.
I'll find you again...
afraid to see you
first steps are hardest to take
walking with caution
upon facing you
I will fall away again
ere rising stronger
in walking alone
becomes strength to use
I have used my doubt
to gain the strength I needed
to face you again
finding and falling
we learn truth, resolutely
step away from fear
Author's Note: This is it. I've slaved over this for about a week, between rehearsals and work. Alot of late nights went into this as well. Happy 1st Pathetic Anniversary to me!!
i.&ii.= Free Verse
iii. = Acrostic
iv. = Double Abecedarian
v. = Senryus
Posted on 04/19/2004
Copyright © 2022 J. P. Davies
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/20/04 at 03:19 AM|
I like how you've mixed an eclectic brew of vocabulary into what appears to be the aftermath of a failed relationship. A painful downward spin for reader as well as writer.
|Posted by Trisha De Gracia on 04/21/04 at 01:43 AM|
*beams with a wide, eyes scrunching grin* I love you. You've grown.