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8 years under
by Ginette T Bellei am living 8 years under
the people in the crowds
they are amused at my forced youth rewind
bottled blue and potent
living deep inside
this body, like wolfblass on sunday evening before bed
i am LIVING 8 years under
my mind swimming in circles
{i wish they would just pull the plug
and let me go down the drain}
it never blows yellow days here
always sulking clouds peaking out
pinning me to the floor
i am living 8 years UNDER
you wouldn't think it to look at my quickly changing eyes
but it's true - ask anyone
ask my heart who sighs in constant discontent
holding on for dear life
through numerous failed attempts
i AM living 8 years under
...and it's time for me to GROW UP 03/29/2004 Author's Note: does this sound unfinished?
Posted on 03/29/2004
Copyright © 2024 Ginette T Belle
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/30/04 at 02:12 PM I like the concept/basic message here. Could also be titled 8 Years Younger for more clarity. I think it stands nicely on its own as is although perhaps some word changes to strengthen the message in a couple of places. For example: sobering eyes. Maybe instead rapidly ageing eyes as a forshadowing of that last closing line. |
| Posted by Rhyana Fisher on 06/28/04 at 04:59 PM i particularly like the way you used caps to emphasize the angle you were looking at the theme from. the last line soundly punctuates it. |
| Posted by Melanie J Yarbrough on 08/07/04 at 04:09 AM the ending does seem rather abrupt, however the first three stanzas were so full of imagery, any end would be too soon-- I wanted it to last all day. :D melanie |
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