the kiss by Richard Trotter Presence, lilac through oil and dirt perfect words made darkness a liar. Breeze and release of the languid motions of your tongue against mine, like a laser to scan away pain and awaken flesh, a coat of smooth explosive sugar. Idyllic apologies followed with the world a joyous child's toy. 02/07/2004 Posted on 02/07/2004 Copyright © 2024 Richard Trotter Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Sam Roberts on 02/08/04 at 12:44 PM wow, This is brilliant. Like Wendy pointed out, very suductive..beautiful infact. "a coat of smooth explosive sugar" - lovely image Stay beautiful xxx Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/08/04 at 02:53 PM Wonderful read made from wonderful lines throughout this, Richard. Perhaps a proof reading to fix typos like 'mione' in line 4, and reworking of other lines like the opening one, which sounds awkward, or complete deletion. The second line provides a much stronger opening. In any case, kudos! Posted by Mara Meade on 02/09/04 at 10:48 PM Oh, the freshness and sweetness of it... like a spring breeze. very well said. Posted by Gabrielle L Gervais on 02/10/04 at 05:32 PM wonderful 'languid motions' of words :) Posted by Ginette T Belle on 02/19/04 at 01:52 AM mmmm...lovely... Posted by Tony Whitaker on 03/09/07 at 10:55 PM This is in my favorites! Breathless! Posted by Michelle Angelini on 06/06/07 at 02:11 AM Not sure I'll ever think of a kiss the same way (when and if I ever get one) but this is searingly sensual. CONGRATULATIONS on POTD! ~Chelle~ Posted by JD Clay on 06/06/07 at 04:37 AM This is very stylish stuff, Richard. It’s full of sharp angles, twists and turns. I like that, it’s real and raw and full of life. Congratulations on your Poem Of The Day. Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)