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discharge(d) {all fingerprints and echoes}
by Richard Paezten-thousand killed
with one shot—
premeditated discharge
me and my gun
still warm
and sweating from the thrill
meditate on this:
another trigger-pull betrayal
wipe my hands of this
silver-bullet residue
.
{i am} again
the smoking gun
{all} alone
but for {fingerprints and echoes}
.
discharge(d)
still warm
hungry for reasons {why}
.
. .
{must i keep doing this?}
.
.
.
it gets so easy
once you learn
“justice” and “justify”
are just two letters apart
.
(dispose the evidence
with the impulse to run)
.
(and learn to walk in stride
like nothing ever happened) 01/21/2004 Author's Note:
It eats me and I spit it out.
Ask me how I killed ten thousand with one shot.
updated 01/12/04
Posted on 01/21/2004
Copyright © 2024 Richard Paez
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Scott Cadence on 01/21/04 at 08:43 PM oh!... I really relate to this, I like how you left it open for the reader. I always look foward to reading your work. You come across so well, Great job. |
| Posted by Andrew S Adams on 01/22/04 at 01:43 AM this is absolutely superb. the first thing i noticed more than anything upon first reading is the diction this piece has. Every word seems carefully chosen for maximum effect when said aloud- it reads wonderfully in that sense. but the message contained therein, it too is something alltogether wonderful. it speaks volumes about how justice is indeed a tricky subject for certain higher-ups. at least, that's how i took it. great lines throughout; a great concept that seems to be delivered effortlessly yet powerfully nonetheless. your poetry is always such an amazing thing to read, man. peace:a |
| Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/11/04 at 01:40 PM absolutely brilliant... and isn't this the truth?... why should one suffer justice when one can justify their actions?... you make a poignant point wrapped up in excellent form... you have a unique and mesmerizing writing style... blessings... |
| Posted by Rula Shin on 03/02/04 at 03:32 PM Hmmm...yes I agree that this line is striking " “justice” and “justify” are just two letters apart." But there is something else here, I mean "ten-thousand killed with one shot—
premeditated discharge" - I think this says it all...by yourself, you and your gun 'warm' and smoking - one shot, ten thousand killed (when into nothing goes this discharge). Is this about the judicial system? I think not. Masturbation sounds more like it to me. EXCELLENT poem. I love the form and the very carefully chosen words depicting a common scene with such creative vision. I love the smoking gun metaphor...the twist this takes to go so far as to suggest this human act is a murder, a killing of thousands who never had a chance. Brilliant work Richard. (BTW, if I'm off on this interpretation please delete this comment hahah *blush*)
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| Posted by Ashok Sharda on 03/02/04 at 05:09 PM Well, its not ten thousand but millions killed in the absence of a passive force apart from the unavailability of the reconciling factor. I agree with Rula Shin, though without any hesitation. It is what she has so hesitatingly said. And all that she has said.Yes it eats when you have to spit those millions. |
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