|
reflexion
by Laura DoomI wandered
lonely as a crowd
that seeks originality
when all at once a window
flashed your message up
addressing me:
How are you today?
A stranger to familiarity
I froze
my mind a vaporous mass
of uncondensed responses
and in that split-second eternity
I sensed a fall in pressure
mood-clouds gathered
the cumulus of disease
an uneasy calm
forecasting...
electrical storms of cerebral activity
precipitating
a torrential outpour of chemical messengers
delivering
a deluge of associations
saturating
sterile soils, forsaken fields
sowing
the seeds of subconscious needs.
A grain of truth
fertilised the question
burgeoning buds of meaning blossomed
bore fruit
single words, gravid with expression
ripened
their juices suppurating
through skin worn thin
by degradation, paled
to essence of putrescence
and my flesh peeled.
An acquaintance of solitude
I flew
on wings of denial
to the cold comfort
of ice-peaked frigidity
but still, today's plasma dripped
and trickled the ravaged slopes
of yesterday's unconquered mountain
merging rueful rivulets
doleful discourse streamed
wanton wasteland images
of scorched desert days;
the confluence of lost years
disgorging a turbulent river
sweeping past oases of pleasure
as love's mirage shimmered
on duplicity's distant horizon
its clamour confessing
a dreamless savannah;
white-water traumata crash
through childhood chasms
the turbid waters of abuse
stirring shameful sediments
that manifest impediments
as cateracts of mania
cascading in a masquerade
solicited to violate
the submissive spread
of Lake Depression;
and in the shadow of the valley of regret
an inexorable endocrine swell
egests a flood of forgotton feelings
that engulfs the harbour of selective memory.
A slave to anonymity
I retreated
flotsam at ebb tide
drifting into analgesic ocean
feigning death's blissful ignorance;
as I bathed in light's density
beneath evernight's chiaroscuro of hopes and fears
I felt a strangely familiar warmth
a remote transmission
from a friendly star;
white heat crescendo
suicide sapor sizzles
distilled identity evaporates
a parchment pariah resolved to fear.
A veteran of conflict
I reclaimed my space
this universe of unrequited chaos
crushed it mercilessly between my cheeks
blew it casually whence it came:
I'm ok thanks, how are you?
and I wonder...
what kind of journey
my innocuous response evoked in you?
11/23/2003 Author's Note: Thanks Max
Posted on 11/23/2003
Copyright © 2024 Laura Doom
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Agnes Eva on 11/23/03 at 06:53 PM one of the best poems ever, if I may add to Gabriel!! We all wish we could capture the millions of thoughts we get in those off-seconds, and you've done it brilliantly. I've always thought the "how are you?/fine" exchange to be ridiculous as there's so much more always than just fine. and your ending is great, recognizing the other's mind riches as well behind that simple exchange. |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 11/23/03 at 07:47 PM I think the concept of this is intense. The thought strings and emotional impact between "How are you today?" and "I'm ok thanks, how are you?" are a wonderful journey through a person's mind. I personally think this great poetry. It runs like a well-articualted panic attack. I love the way time is manipulated in this to show how quickly these thoughts fly through one's head. And that the eventual choice for response is the trivial lies that we have been conditioned by society to spout instead of the truth. Although the truth may be more than one bargains for... One may go on to say that the main character of this piece is antisocial and does not want to socialize --until the last stanza. In the last stanza the main character wonders what thought strings happened in the other person. This changes the tone of the piece from "leave me alone" to "please understand me." This is a great poem, Laura. More importantly I think it could help people if they read it with thought. (Two thumbs up and looking for a third hand) ;) |
| Posted by Christel Crews on 11/24/03 at 02:42 AM this is a true journey that many take between the common question and the socially acceptable answer. what a wonderful flow of thoughts and imagery! i was captivated the entire way through this journey- maybe b/c i struggle with similar things- this is excellent! |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 03/30/09 at 12:13 AM It has been six years between the time you created this incredulous map of journeying re-uptake inhibitors [ ] and this moment just now when I find it. Six years. The somersault of "post a comment" beckons to me while I try to sift what it is traveling through the tunnels of my mind. How did you know- comes first, -what happens in my brain at the sign, any sign, of comradely communication? Pause. Wait. I'm okay thanks, how are you?
I am meek in the presence of your writing.
Do you know how wonderful it is to read you? |
|
