i got off like an undercharged hooker
by Rachelle Howe
your imagery wears me
like a cheap prom dress.
i've unzipped the back, let the
shoulders hang and decided
that i gained a little too much weight.
i pop a diet pill of metaphors,
ingest them with the water of your symmetry .
it burns all the way down, a tequila shot of
you've stolen my breath
and my stomach in one line, you know.
it weighs in my womb, and
perhaps i'll birth my light someday.
perhaps the shadows
won't rape me anymore.
Author's Note: this was written for alania schneider, based on one of her pieces, and the comment i left from it. i just had to thank her one more time.
Posted on 10/17/2003
Copyright © 2022 Rachelle Howe
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Kristine Briese on 10/17/03 at 03:40 PM|
Ohhhh, my God, this is amazing! Astounding! Wonderful!
|Posted by Melina Raven Maness Diebold on 10/18/03 at 04:53 AM|
Wow! Very powerful stuff! Good job!
|Posted by Lauren Singer on 10/18/03 at 05:38 AM|
"i pop a diet pill of metaphors"
i loved this, and don't agree with gabriel, i think this kind of piece is best of any writer, that line above is one i had to read about thirty times, it just grabbed me. the piece in itself seems like it could be based on a heroine in a novel. awesome job w/ this.
|Posted by Don Coffman on 10/18/03 at 06:45 PM|
Metaphor pills. Mmmm. That's some good stuff, the poem. :) I adore how it flows along and all those fascinating images. The last two lines really give it some weight at the end, especially.
|Posted by Beth K Hannah on 10/18/03 at 10:25 PM|
what a wonderful twist...
|Posted by Melinda Sordino on 10/19/03 at 02:04 AM|
it's so wonderful...
|Posted by Karen Michelle on 10/20/03 at 12:51 PM|
i don't think you can ever have too many compliments. you blow my mind.
|Posted by Glenn Currier on 10/22/03 at 02:53 AM|
What a way to thank your friend! This has a lightness to it, yet a profoundity too. I too like the "pill of metaphors." You have a wonderful creative expression.
|Posted by Erin Werle on 09/17/04 at 01:05 PM|
Wow. This was an amazing write. Very sharp, and I loved the second stanza. Nice piece. :)
|Posted by JD Clay on 09/25/04 at 09:57 PM|
Metaphoric wizardry here, Rachelle. Sizzling stuff, you're pen must be goo, hehe!
|Posted by Indigo Tempesta on 02/15/05 at 02:29 AM|
whoa; fantastically self-conscious language. and of course, good comparative language. thanks, love. and a fitting salute to dear alaina's work.
|Posted by Meghan Helmich on 06/12/08 at 06:12 PM|
that first stanza hit me hard. unfolding prom dress...
|Posted by Kristine Briese on 09/24/10 at 08:59 PM|
My darling, you've made POTD! Congratulations!
|Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 11/13/11 at 08:43 PM|
my favorite lines of this excellent piece, "you've stolen my breath
and my stomach in one line, you know."