He kissed me, and I found myself
Supporting responsive legislation.

But am I representing my constituents
(Even the ghetto of my rundown heart?)
Or am I catering to special interest groups
(Like PETA, screaming
Please Enjoy This Action!)?

This is a political hot potato: I'm afraid
The paparazzi will pop up, asking me
Questions I can't answer, and taking
Pictures of my discomfiture
To titillate viewers on the nightly news.

Such crisis demands immediate action:
I'll call in the National Guard to decide
If I should kiss this man, and if
Yes, does this mean the previous
Lame d(u)ck Representative has been
Erased from public memory?

We'll settle this democratically; I'll collect
The ballots after I dodge his hanging
Chad, and avoid Reading His Lips with mine.

Or I'll urge a boycott of my speeches, and
Perhaps impeach myself. Chant along
With me, and bring your picket signs:

Don't support the government!
Your vote's a sign of confidence
That's really not deserved.

08/11/2003

Posted on 08/11/2003
Copyright © 2024 Mainon A Schwartz