Home   Home

Rainy Day Visions

by Amanda L Marron

rain pounds the roof

as i sit here and write

i close my eyes and

i'm greeted by visions

visions of you

your laugh

your smile

your face

your eyes

i remember the way you walk

the beat as each

of your feet

hits the pavement

the way your body flowed

so fluidly with each step

i remember you shirtless

in your baggy jeans and your timbs

and how much excitement that picture still brings me

i remember you standing in front of me

forbidding me to pass

until i told you what was wrong

i'm hanging on to these memories

i'm reaching out

but you're gone

 

07/13/2003

Posted on 07/13/2003
Copyright © 2024 Amanda L Marron

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Agnes Eva on 07/13/03 at 05:10 PM

nice fusion of "missing someone" images and the fall of the rain

Posted by Melanie A Bennett on 07/26/04 at 02:10 AM

I like this...It reminds me of my sweetie who now lives about 6 hours away from me. Nice work. :)

Posted by Richard Paez on 09/08/04 at 09:30 PM

Agnes said it well--you make the transition from falling rain to your subject very fluidly, and use great tricks (like the rhythm and the drop-like repetition of "your") to keep the image of rain vivid throughout. My favorite aspect about this is how you describe him so well--not in the physical sense so that I could picture him, but the little things that really matter. You can tell "how much excitement that picture still brings" you, and how strong your feelings are. Very nice, I like this one a lot.

Return to the Previous Page
 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)