Lying beside you
in a purple slip
dangle earrings
and a Y chain necklace
My heart was pounding
inside of my ears.
8 of us
on the thin-cushioned floor
huddled under blankets
me by you
and your eyes in the
blue-black flickers
of VHD, circa 1990.
Laying back
playing it casual
trying to keep
my whole body from shaking.
Under the blankets
a hand slowly creeps
and sneakily
grasps at my finger tips.
My my, how I melted
you touched
and you felt
and you dragged little lines
across my palm
And I in return
I just wanted to feel you
and know that you felt me too.
Then I watched
as you bent your head
to put a tiny kiss
on my shoulder
and every ounce
of sheer will that I had
evaporated, for just one moment.
I could have kissed you then and there
I could have kissed you anytime.
I know you would have
reciprocated.
But you didn't
I didn't
not even when I told you goodbye
the first time, inside,
And I ran from your eyes
because I wouldn't have made it
looking in one more second.
They would have met no
resistance
had I looked at them
just one more time
so my knees gave way
and I closed my eyes
hiding from the inevitable
for now.

But my mind just reels back
to being there in your arms
with my head on your shoulder
and your hand in my hand
and forgetting, for a night
that right here is where
I shouldn't be
but I am.

04/28/2003

Author's Note: There's so much more I could say, but it would make for a horrid poem :P , so I'll save it for now.

Posted on 04/28/2003
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