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You Might Be In SoCal If...
by Jersey D Gibson- You might be in SoCal if a 45 m.p.h car chase interrupts all normally schedualed programs.
- You might be in SoCal if your Publisist has a P.R. rep.
- You might be in SoCal if a man with a minicam isn't a tourist, but a potential police brutality witness.
- You might be in SoCal if shoplifting will get your face on a t-shirt.
- You might be in SoCal if Johnnie Cochran is programmed to your speed-dial on one of your cellphones.
- You might be in SoCal if gossip travels faster than the speed of light.
- You might be in SoCal if radio stations bleed over one another.
- You might be in SoCal if the term "Valley Girl" has people clueless to the meaning.
- You might be in SoCal if the homeless file tax returns.
- You might be in SoCal if people bet on Seismic readings on the most recent earthquake.
- You might be in SoCal if two heavily armed men shooting out of a bank could be seen as a possible movie being filmed.
- You might be in SoCal if a signed traffic ticket can be doubled as an autograph.
- You might be in SoCal if after a car accident, people exchange their lawyer's cards instead of insurance.
- You might be in SoCal if a child has: 2 parents, 2 step-parents, 3 social workers, 1 lawyer.
- You might be in SoCal if people boo the President, and applaud a child molester.
- You might be in SoCal if the phraze "That was 'so' yesterday!" comes up, and you're outside of high school.
- You might be in SoCal if gang apparal is sold in clothing establishments.
- You might be in SoCal if the words "Joan Rivers" are uttered, every dress designer shudders.
- You might be in SoCal if the official language is whatever hip-hop song happens to be popular that week.
- You might be in SoCal if criminals are interviewed by the press before being grilled by the police.
- You might be in SoCal if people consider the "HOLLYWOOD" sign the second Statue of Liberty.
- You might be in SoCal if a guy was walking down the street in a peacock costume... and nobody looked twice.
- You might be in SoCal if drug traffiking was considered a legitimate business.
- You might be in SoCal if the words "Feng Shui" isn't thought to be something French. 04/10/2003 Author's Note: Being in the South, I have gotten sick of hearing "You might be a Redneck if..." jokes from every dumb yankee that moved down here. Illinois has more hicks, Nazis, and Klansmen than Alabama and Georgia put together. SO, in retaliation, I made a series of jokes that makes fun of the only place weirder than The South... Southern California.
Enjoy! ;)
P.S. I've spent time in SoCal... worst two months of my life
Posted on 04/11/2003
Copyright © 2025 Jersey D Gibson
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/11/03 at 01:24 AM LOL! SoCal sounds like a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. As per construction, excellent innovativeness here Jers' in the use of repetition. A step up the evolutional ladder for you, though I recommend you stay out of SoCal for a while. :o) |
| Posted by Maryellen Lebeda-Parra on 04/11/03 at 01:37 AM HAHAHAHAHAHA ... as I said ... I live here now. They finally stopped playing the car chases on the news! when I first moved here, all programming would stop for a damn car chase! |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 11/19/05 at 04:32 AM Awww, come on Jersey, just because SoCal is full of nuts and kooks, doesn't mean we've all escaped from the looney bin. Only 99%...Enjoyed reading this - especially about the annoying car chases - yeah, like they are sooo interesting. NOT!
~Chelle~ |
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