Day One...
the smell of bleach is almost intoxicating,
in all this suicide, my memory fading.
maybe if i smell it a bit longer i'll pass out,
that was what i thought,
but now i'm full of doubt.
the answer seemed simple,
but that was before this smell.
i thought i'd be in heaven..
and this is just seems like hell.
i reach for my heart,
palms dripping with sweat,
i wipe it on my shirt,
somehow they're still wet.
giving up,
i fall to the floor,
remembering then,
i have nothing to live for.
i drank the bleach,
and fell to the ground.
after a sicking thud,
my body was found.
they crossed off my house,
with yellow tape,
my body drawn on the floor,
in a white-chalked shape.
my parents just stood around,
like they didnt know what was going on,
while the police men came,
and stared at the shape where my body was drawn.

day two..

i'm in a black case now,
i guess they knew i liked the night.
because everything is dark,
and behind my eyes i see a light.
i'm moving now,
but still in this case.
if only they knew,
of this smile upon my face.
we've finally stopped,
and the top has been removed.
as i look up at,
the family that has always disproved.
there are tears in their eyes,
maybe their pretending.
and still i wonder why,
its my funeral their attending.
finally they close my case,
and again i am left all alone.
as i am set softly in the ground,
under a pale gray stone.
a few more words are said,
and when everything is finished,
they throw a handful of dirt on my case,
and the preacher mumbles "diminished.."

day three...

everybodies gone away now,
and i am left in this dark tomb.
but i dont care this is just like home,
me in my lonely room.

04/03/2003

Author's Note: I never can seem to find the correct endings for my writings.. they always seem incomplete. I will continue my search for perfection though..

Posted on 04/03/2003
Copyright © 2025 Jolie Jordan