last night i scratched the sky with my fingernail
and it bled the red dawn
i turned my eyes to the night
and all of Creation yawned

i raised my fists in pain and hurt
as i pointed to the silver clouds
the moon was scorched, black and burnt
atop a hill, i shouted aloud.

i collapsed with grief upon the grass
alone, i sat in solitary wonder
shameful images from my past flashed
with the rolling thunder.

guilt-ridden from those mistakes
i curled in a ball and wept to You
it was then that You sent the rain
to let me know You were crying too.

and with a sweep of Your hand
from out of the West
You knocked on my heart
and tore open my chest.

unearthing the remains
from under the rubble
of chipped, cracked walls
i built in times of trouble,

You found the holiness
i thought i put to shame;
with a prick of Your finger
You wrote out Your name.

i felt like a harlot
under the veil of a bride;
You uncovered my face
and showed me my pride.

every drop of blood
You poured out for me
was by Your will, done freely.

so to say that Your Beloved
isn't worth half the blood You spilt
was just another cold wall i had built.

You cleared the stones away
and the foundation too,
tore down every wall
and told me i was neither borrowed nor used.

when i woke up this morning
i felt different inside
(i feel You changing me
and thats when i realized

i never lived til now.

10/17/2001

Author's Note: ~repost~

Posted on 03/31/2003
Copyright © 2024 Melissa Arel