Watch a Screw up Connect the Dots
by Carl Walkereverybody does it
everyone makes mistakes
everyone knows how it feels
to let down a friend
or behave badly
and be disappointed in yourself
thinking
*I thought I was different*
*how could I be this way*
*is it worse the way others feel about me,
or the way I feel about myself*
now, connect the dots
the truth, once agian, is that I can't get it right
but I want to set up a standard that the way I get it is right
I want to be the standard
my mind takes me back to yesterday
the way I thought about the surly server at Micky D's
I didn't like her, I wanted to sit on my throne and decree judgement
because she didn't "get it"
she didn't meet my standard
and now I'm sad because I know what it feels like to be judged like that by me
because I judge myself
I don't meet my standard
worse than my surly server
so, what can I do
where do I turn
I'm glad my best friend doesn't judge me like I judge others
my best friend, I let him down
but he doesn't treat me like I treat others
he doesn't judge me like I judge others
even when I sell him out, he understands exactly why I did it
and covers me
he is more interested in being friends
more interested in getting together
than in me getting it right
he told me, "don't sweat it, I know you're sorry
with me as your friend you'll do better next time
just remember
I love the surly server same as you"
whew
I mean double whew
I amy not be able to go back and make it right
for my other friend I let down
(and I mean REALLY let down)
she told me a confidence and I didn't keep it (what a s--t I am)
but I sure feel peace
and I sure feel an intensity, a fire with in me
not to judge the surly
but to show them what my best friend's love feels like
and, ya know, that sure makes me feel good
I'm still disappointed in myself
sorta
but I sure feel peace
what a wonderful best friend I have
I'd love for just the three of us to get together
I'm sure you'd like him
03/29/2003