entransing stare-
in between all of the silence
the swift motions
of our eyes.
to you:
to the screen:
to the floor:
to the talks of dreams
and fucked up love
and we never seem to get it right
and there is so much more
that i wish i woulda said tonight.
if i wasnt afraid
of screwing up everything we have
if i wasnt afraid
of all our shit getting weird.
if i wasnt afraid
of the word 'no' so much
if i wasnt afraid
to be crushed
by my own doing-

after all, you said this
kind of thing was bullshit.
"it never means anything" you say,
but somewhere inside
you know that's a lie.
to you, it means so much more
than you could ever hope for.
to me, it's my hidden existance
hidden under a veil so
you may never know what i truly want.

and yes, i know it's wrong.
and yes, it would never work.
but the first time was a dream too short
and one that ended up broken and hurt.
i'd want to resolve these things
come up with new dreams-
with you,
so we could get over ourselves
and get to the truth.
i love you.
you love me.

if that's true
then why am i
still without you?

02/21/2003

Author's Note: i'm afraid to post this because i know you'll read it, and i dont know how you'll react. so, we'll say this is to no one, even though you probably know who you are.

Posted on 02/22/2003
Copyright © 2024 Andrew S Adams