This time I am vulnerable.
Always before I held their hearts in my hands
and barely let them lay a finger on mine,
though we both thought they had.
But this time...
he has such a grip on my heart
and I'm not even sure if I have touched his,
though I want nothing else.
Always before I knew I was in their dreams and thoughts
because they never failed to tell me.
But now I wonder if he thinks of me
as much as I think of him.
Always before it was mostly clear-cut
what we were and would be to each other.
This time it's hazy...
I know what I want, I think,
but what he wants of me is still a mystery.
And yet, though before there were always talks,
officiating what stood between us,
this time it has gone without mention
because we neither want nor need to officiate it.
Always before when I rushed into things
without really thinking
they ended badly.
But this time, despite all of the uncertainties,
there have been only good things.
And that is why I'm vulnerable,
because this time I'm daring to hope
for something more than a passing flame.

12/27/2002

Posted on 12/28/2002
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