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in & out
by Richard Paezin and out
another day of my life recedes
a slow-motion wave slipping
from the shores of my deserted beach
the closest Ive come to sand
is crumbling concrete-
all my palm trees are halogen
street lights buzzing madly
and the only wildlife here
are the blind crabs shuffling
sideways-almost-tipping
from the weight of their odd claws
this is the bleakest moment of my life-
waiting here by the horizon
for some fabled corona to replace
all this tasteless moonshine.
could I shave away all these inhibitions
like a good dock-side whittler
and sharpen myself to an effective edge?
cut away the bonds between skin cells
and set my life afloat on these oily waters?
or better yet-
erode them like these waves
and echo nonsense from indiscriminate locations
~ sing drinking songs from a sinking raft ~
11/23/2002 Author's Note: 2nd verse, 6th line- which would be more gramatically correct, "is" or "are"?
Posted on 11/23/2002
Copyright © 2025 Richard Paez
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Bethany Lee on 11/24/02 at 03:07 PM my, my, my Richard...i've read a lot of your piece, and i must deem this one my favourite! It flows and meanders its way up my spine..."all my palm trees are halogen" fantastic visual...(makes me yearn for Florida, though...*s*) and "for some fabled corona to replace
all this tasteless moonshine." that stopped my breath for a moment with the perfection of the words...mmmmm...such a soulquenching bite of poetry, here...bravo!
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| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 11/27/02 at 02:15 PM Despite this poems's dark side, your choice and arrangement of imagery make it a fun raft ride, Richard. Pass the rum and let's sing to seemingly going nowhere. |
| Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/04/05 at 08:51 PM i first actually stopped at line 6 stanza 2, as it caught me off guard... then i re-read it and saw that it is correct as it is... this sent me into a reverie... a dream-like state of introspection... funny, i wondered if your poetry had evolved over time... or was it always this deep and personally relatable (to me, anyway)... it's definitely the latter... blessings... |
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