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Assigning Faith a Dollar Amount

by Lacy D Phillips

Just exactly a year ago,
I graduated high school.
I had
about 20 pounds more of myself
and a larger vocabulary.
I worked harder,
bore more sadness
and laughed more often.
I was afraid of smaller things, then,
like the roaches on the bathroom floor
and that I was ruining my hands so young.
My fucking car terrified me,
and I just knew my mother
would die before she reached 50.
I'm hoping now she'll hold out
till I can pay for the funeral...
I bought a car on borrowed money,
went to school on grants and loans
and rented all the while on promissory.
I have a checking account now
and even a credit card
(for emergencies, car maintenance)
My eyes, teeth and therapy
all paid for by the good state of Minnesota.
I have calculated my net worth to be
negative 27 thousand dollars
and counting.
My whole life in the red
where shades of grey had previously prevailed.
And I realize that quite literally
I am banking on my talent.
And I hadn't imagined ever having
that kind of faith in anything.
Least of all myself.

11/06/2001

Posted on 11/06/2001
Copyright © 2024 Lacy D Phillips

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Julie Adams on 10/23/03 at 08:07 PM

hey, it's been a while, but just reading some work for your book!! (u go!)...lovely as always to read your work...lemme know if you would like anything new looked at...wbe well, still reading...jewels

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