Time and crucifixes...
he tells me to
trust in his god,
which I prayed
to for years
and who never heard
me
even
once.

He tells me
that God loves
and forgives
me
like he loves and
forgives me
for sins
I did not commit
but which haunt me
like
a millstone
around my neck.

I have a little girl
somewhere...
I wonder if I will
find
her.

I wonder if there
is some cross
I can hang myself
on
in order to forgive
myself,
this Virgin
praying to nail
herself
for her
conception....
the swelling of her
belly--stolen--Madonna
with an empty lap
and a halo
dangling from her
index finger....

I am Guilty Mary Mother Magdelane...
The Virgin/Mother/Slut

He says to believe
in the God
which gave me to him,
but who
allowed me to be taken
and
turned me
monstrous.

10/04/2001

Posted on 10/04/2001
Copyright © 2024 Vikki Owens