coughing
02/17/2008 12:50 a.m.
my chest hurts. from coughing.
i can't cough like a normal person - normal little coughs, clearing the throat, -
no i cough like
my lungs somehow need to jump out of my body, need to be pushed hacked pulled out. and it hurts really bad.
and coughdrops don't help
and my bronchi are probably all red and sore
and
and
and...

i am going to be sick in a few days i just know i just know
and then i won't have to go to school
and i can hang around the house
and worry about what i'm missing at school
and watch tv
and stay in bed
and then feel bad for watching so much tv and being a slob
and eventually

it will be the next day and i will be back at school and
convincing myself i should have been there the day before
because it sucks missing all that time
especially in my adobe class
and physics, since we had a test
and finite math, since we are going to have a Huge test
and being there for my friends who are emotionally unstable
and giving free hugs to people i don't really like.

and then, when the week is almost over
(ie Thursday)
i will pack up my stuff
and my new swimsuit which i feel horribly fat in
and go to Florida
where it is sunny and rainy and warm and no obligations
except to the friend that will also be in florida and wants to hang out even though we don't ever hang out when we're Not on vacation.
and then i won't be sick

i'll just wish i was.

i am feeling unenergetically restless/spastic
I am listening to nothing