The Journal of Rommel Cruz

12/04/2008 03:09 a.m.
new multiply account at http://rdtcgarfield.multiply.com/ for anyone who might be interested.

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interim lover
11/12/2008 04:07 a.m.
i don't want to be your interim lover
whenever he's not around.
i want to be the one
the only one

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Toy customizing
04/06/2008 02:39 p.m.
Since I'm not writing anymore, I needed another outlet for my *cough cough* "artistry". So I turned to customizing toys! It's basically taking an existing toy and modifying it (either through sculpting, mixing of parts, painting, etc). I don't do much, but I like the hobby a lot. It's fun and I get to use my imagination and produce something very tangible. I feel like an artist. Only I get to use plastic as my canvass.

Just in case someone might be interested, here's the link to the stuff I've done. They ain't much (both in quality and quantity) but I really enjoyed doing them.


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Where have I been?
04/06/2008 02:31 p.m.
I barely login to pathetic anymore. Somehow, the attraction of poetry has waned severely that I cannot remember anymore what the last poem I read was. And looking at my poetry list, the last I wrote was in January of 2006. That's over 2 years ago!

But not writing is actually better for me. I could only write when I was feeling down. I needed to be depressed or even pissed just to be able to write something. Even my most "playful" and "happiest" works were written when I was sad.

OK, reading the above paragraph, I used "write" and variations thereof 4 times. Terrible. That's one thing I'm worse than before.

Anyway, now I can say that I am lot happier. But when I think about it, I cannot really pinpoint the how. I still do the same things I did. I'm still with the same set of friends. Same job.

Well the only major difference is that I read comics and collect toys now. Childish I know. And no, that's not a light bulb moment. Comics and toys were just means to express the positive emotions. They weren't the source.

I still get depressed every now and then, but it's not as often as it was years before. So that's definitely good even I can't/don't write anymore. Like not writing is a big loss to the literary community anyway.

So... What's the point of this entry? I honestly do not know. Maybe an attempt to write something? I don't know. LOL.

OK. So I'm like super dumb right now. But I don't care. For some reason it's fun being stupid.

Anyway, whatever. I'm not making any sense. So to anyone who actually read this, uhm thanks? LOL.

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The past in the present
04/14/2006 02:05 p.m.
Back in second year high school, Valentine's day, at the Biology lab, I gave you a card. I said I love you. I know we were still young then and I probably did not really understand what I was doing. But I do know that at that time, I really meant it.

The rest of our high school, you would sometimes tease me. Playfully reminding me that I love you. I probably crossed my brows back then and gave a shrug, trying to dismiss what you said as a joke. Irritated as I may have looked, and as stupid as it may sound, it felt good inside. You were still talking to me. We were still sharing jokes and laughs and what nots. We were still friends.

After we graduated from high school in 1996, we rarely saw each other. I went to one university, you went to another. The years passed by quickly. Sometimes though, your memories knocked on my mind.

Fast forward to 2001 and we met again. You were working just a few buildings from where I was also working. On afternoons, I would come to your office, bringing you the then popular Zagu to drink. Sometimes I would sit in your office's couch and wait for you to finish just so we can spend some time together.

During this time, you opened up about your relationship with a highschool classmate of ours - your bestfriend. I played the confidant and you shared how people thought he wasn't right for you. I, being a friend to you both, encouraged the relationship.

When you had problems with him, you confided on me. I remember the day you called me up the phone and told me that you two broke up. I remember asking you to understand him; assuring you that things would work out. Despite my encouragements, at my end of the line, I was already hitting my head with the remote control. Berating myself on how stupid I was - that I should have told you instead to end it forever; that I was just there, waiting for the chance to make you happy.

Fast forward to now. There are still times that I think of you and the what-ifs and what-nots if only the two of us ended together. But they will just be questions popping up every now and then with no definite and conclusive answer. I was given my chance and passed on it. I will just content myself in the hope that you are happy with him and your child.

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01/09/2006 10:21 a.m.
LOL. My comments keep on dropping. Too bad because comments in the past have been inspirations in writing new poems. Plus of course, nice comments warm the heart when you revisit and reread them.

Equally important of course are the persons who left the comments.

Oh well.

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New poems and toys
01/03/2006 10:41 a.m.
Wrote a new poem today. My first this year, and second within the week.

Prior to my last 2 poems, I didn't write anything for about a year. Maybe this year will be more productive.

Also started collecting DC action figures. Gearing more towards Superman though I have one or two of the others. Also bought a motorcycle model that you assemble yourself. Planning to practice toy painting with it before I paint/customize my Supermans. Not good when you really really want a Superman with a different costume and DC doesnt make them. (Superman has other costumes aside from the red/blue standard)

Anyway, that's it for me now.


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01/08/2005 09:55 a.m.
I rearranged my poems into folders. Hopefully I named the folders properly.

Id be leaving new poems (1 month old and less) on the main library then move them afterwards.

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3rd Haiku
01/07/2005 05:31 a.m.
I wrote my 3rd haiku. It doesn't deal with nature though. I just used the form.

I was having lunch and I kept on counting the syllables on my fingers (I was mentally writing the poem) and my officemate asked if my fingers were still complete. hehe.

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Rough draft
01/05/2005 02:05 p.m.
I was cleaning my files and saw an old draft of a poem I've been meaning to finish for a long time now. I still havent updated the draft. Maybe one of these days...

Club ecstasy

Laughter muted by the blaring music
Eyes burned by the thick cigarette smoke
Mesmerizing green glow sticks
Beer bubbling from shaken bottles

Glide. Slide.
A shot of flaming Streetís Desire.
Hips reverberating with the need to be touched

Drumming, Droning
Acoustic guitar.

Consumed in passion

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