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The Journal of Matthew Sharp the w/hole holes/wholes
09/11/2007 04:55 a.m.
i cant put the whole in my pocket
because my pocket is a part of the whole
therefore
there is a hole in my pocket
I am listening to defensive circles
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i lost the sun
08/30/2007 05:33 a.m.
words are so far away that they disappear into pointless nothingness when having thoughts of a perceived construct of a god 'sense'.
when i think about going into this i think 'nothing is what i want, and when i find it.. it becomes me without all of the 'somethings' that distracted me from it.
so with that in mind i understand that i somewhat must pretend to be something (as in building a facade) and sort of watch the pretending go away through the repetitive conditioning of the process.
so when you ask me about what i think about god, i want you to know that what i write is merely a play on words, based on a truth i keep that words are only lies that merely point to the truth in reference.
words destroy such concepts by belittling it with arrogance and egotism to prove something.
when there is nothing to prove and i prove it inside of me at all times. ok ... i realize that was just a paradox.
but the paradox is the point.
imagine a world in which only paradox exist and the only way to live is to see with the eyes of irony.
i understand the world to be alive and full of life in every direction, even directions that dont exist into multi dimensional, uni-dimensional or any crunch or expand factor that can be put on it.
there are a particular set of eyes within us that see the same thing, whether it be a view from trillions of light years away or in a sky scraper on a grain of sand.
eternity is what would be infinity if it were not for time influencing the view of it.
and infinity is what would be eternity.
so a reaction takes place on the fulcrum similar to a birthing feeding time to the infinite and timelessness to the eternal.
in applied physics i represent eternity as a zero inside of a zero infinitely large and small.
and i represent infinity as the endless spiral.
in thoughtless awareness
a representation of this is drawn out as if i where existing as a tree of ancestrial predecessors, and we where one.
eventually a decision was made to see the reaction taking place and grow towards it like the sun.
eventually getting close enough for the infinite zero inside of zero, like rings they isolate me into its mass.
like gravity im born into it to continue my growth, here where we are as a reaction to my negligent curiosity.
i could write about this all night.
im just sort of going with whatever im thinking at the time.
but the truth is that i challenge my truths constantly repetitively in order to exercise their meaning, and to coerce the mutation of them to enhance awareness.
for the sake of eternalizing myself.
for the simple fact... that inside my soul/thoughtless awareness..... i lost the sun.
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i died
08/25/2007 06:15 a.m.
im never here.. i try to be and then lose my plea for sanity and then again i shoot at a target that spins
i am sorry im me and me and me and me sparring into whatever ill become ill get numb and stuck on one and not even realize what ive done its fun i like to run into walls smash my balls and celibate forever pretend that im clever pull the lever that everyone else missed and end every conversating with 'class dismissed' just to watch people get pissed im lost and i act like this.
i missed i never aim i just throw from the brain and improvise myself insane.
in conversation with meagan she makes me find me here.
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with all due respect
08/22/2007 04:07 a.m.
i am so fucking opinionated.
but i dont do it here, that is how not to make friends.
i see you all on this website and i think its awesome.
kind of a congregation of sorts.
but i fuck with people, i cant help it sometimes.
and i learn that we all come from very different lifestyles and struggles.
i take this and i try to write something based on the relativity of what we would all consider to be something that we all have in common.
i dont mean to... i just do.
and i know that the future of earth is shitty in my opinion.
i want a miracle.
but the cure is definately not in the making.
greed and selfishness have engulfed the idealistic morality of every nation.
whether it be greed for money or power, or religious persuasion.
i watch all this shit, and i just think... burn it down.
i used to think that i could just scream louder than any other god or individual.
but now im like.... fuck it.... fuck you.....
even if i love you.
with all due respect:
matthew
Comments (4)
truth
08/19/2007 10:24 p.m.
raised in milwaukee wisconsin. been in prattville alabama for a few months i have infinite personalities that leave demons behind in their wake and sometimes ahead of me into the future in quantum torture. i love you, but we probably wont get along unless compromise is worth the reward in passionate entertainment and fruits from the gallows of the heart of my predecessors whom i disrespect no more with empty rhetoric for friendships in the lull heavy into the facade of social operation. i usually break things down until they dont start making sense to anybody but me. anxious to change the world but no one wants to fight with me. most people stop at a t.v. or a game, im just self-entertained.
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leftovers
08/07/2007 10:20 p.m.
used up hope
renewed in a blink of a sound
your voice
im stuck outside you
make noise
so i can find you again....
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full speed seeds
06/27/2007 06:02 p.m.
meditating never worked for me, all i could do was think about going into infinity and i always feel like that but in everday actions was able to define rhythm within the infinite chaos's, so i planted a garden of rhythms and patterns until i got so used to planting the seeds that they just kept planting without me even trying to plant then and then they went into infinity.:)))
I am listening to lies
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aware of the obvious
04/21/2007 09:41 p.m.
jesus slices the earth to pieces with greed and a greasy cheeseburger in hand
tossed in a garbage bag
following the tempting reward into its abyss
we smother in plastic gasping we adhere for a moment of clarity that becomes more and more uncomfortable as awareness in instinctual obviousness dies.
I am currently Violent
I am listening to turbulence and moving parts
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i dont know what to say except
04/10/2007 12:51 a.m.
a girl sang to me
im all seduced by her provocative passion and grace
im not that easy to get, but i would have licked her asshole for singing like that to me.
a nobody in clothing.
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teacher reads my note
04/09/2007 02:58 a.m.
i like you.
do you like me?
check
yes[]
no[]
maybe[]
I am listening to keys
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