The Journal of Matthew Sharp|
08/06/2014 05:13 a.m.
its all i couldnt do
how could i give up on you
hoped you forget who i am
you dont know who i am now
i wanted to use the before
to dictate the now
but ide rather forget
that i even know how to admit
that i know when to quit
i want to change my skin
but it wont let me in
it knows how ive sinned
Entire... no explanation
08/04/2014 01:44 p.m.
I've never known anything but unconditional
if i said i love you it was fearlessly unlimited
i sometimes didnt respect your fear when i threatened you with my presence
thats because ive never known love with limitations...
hours of talking felt like shoving light through a pin hole
i would mistake the phone line for a wormhole as if we where there together
its all somewhat of an illusion anyway
like digging the deepest hole to show my strength
not realizing my weakness until i looked up trying to get back out
Into the empty forever without a lead line... right?
Love while you can and dont be afraid of not being loved back
it begets itself like a cycle that strengthens back and forth until its rooted in the present
any moment past or potential respected here and now
Loving you is entire
I never ask the same
thats just all i know
i cant change it
but in the attempt i couldnt keep a straight face and would often laugh at myself:)
Thermodynamic Happy Curiosities
06/08/2012 10:18 p.m.
In the first few seconds of awakening from a nice slumber, the very center of your eyes have already shared hundreds of particles with the room around you. At the exact moment you open the curtain and peer outside, you receive and expel more atomic data through your skin than what the eyes can bare, as your pupils quickly constrict and filter the magnitude of observable energy that mercilessly rushes into your iris. By the time you have squeezed your eyes in reaction to the outdoor lighting, it is more likely than not that you have attained a form of energy from every single thing you can see through your window: a photon from the house opposite; an electron from the leaf of the nearby tree; even the very oxygen molecules that you see that bird gulping as it glides across the sky. And after those few seconds of consciousness: you feel like going to the bathroom.
With a blurry-eyed look into the mirror, trying to deter how fit you appear as opposed to the night before, something amazing happens. As you lean forward and peer close at the reflection of your face, the very pieces of your lips that you’re trying to look at - they disappear. Many of the photons that illuminate you soar away, blistering through space, beyond the reflective glass and keep on going until they break through your bathroom wall, flying outdoors with the wind just like the bird you saw 13 seconds ago. But what about those that don’t go through the mirror?
There is only one way they can go - back at you. Hurtling at speeds faster than the human eye can detect, the photons that were on your lips - not one second ago - come crashing back and through your skin tissue, but not always where they were. In them five seconds you spend judging how good or bad the day is going to be as according to what the top 0.3 centimeters of tissue that lives on your head says about you, the brain that lies behind it fails to comprehend the thousands of living cells and particles that are constantly rearranging themselves. Parts of your lips are now your nose, them rosy cheeks are now partly with your cute little elf ears, and pieces of them very things that you're using to judge and emotionally administrate your observable representation are now at one with your hands. You are in a flux of motion, emitting and transferring energy, no matter how hard you try to be still. Forever changing, and eternally fabricating with the world around you.
So the next time you sigh in despair at however weathered you may appear to yourself in those first 20 seconds of what will be a truly profound day, just remember: every day you do what you believe to be impossible. As by the very laws that govern yourself, the earth, and even the universe, every time you wake and look out that window; you - in part - fly as free as a bird.
Enjoy the day everyone, because we're all a bunch of thermodynamic miracles!
aware or not....merry christmas everyone.
12/24/2011 05:59 p.m.
Have you ever gestured towards the horizon with intention to accentuate the flawless void above, below and beyond everything we're conditioned to accept as real and static? I have, will and do everyday. Driven by timeless passion that at times torment the lives of those deeply distracted by entertainment and immediate gratification which have unfortunately become the mass through subservience and lack of will through the selfish fragmentation of individuality the 'i am' the 'i want' afraid to surrender and relinquish the temporary illusion of fulfillment.
In 'opening up' to people i've learned that Out of 10 people, 8 may say, think or react to me in a shunning way because i obviously threaten their 'belief' or so called 'comfortability'... the remaining 2 that i stay friends with are worth their weight in infinite density.
Unfortunately ive let the effects of this process get to me at times causing a partial shut down of outward passion and creativity. Fortunately, realization of this process is what is happening as i write this and i am thankful for the sight, the realization and you.
Merry Christmas everyone. I hope we all enjoy this time off of work and let the frustration of struggling dissipate in the moment so we can fully appreciate the company of 'friends' and 'family', two words that i consider to be the same.
I am listening to vildhjarta
12/23/2010 11:53 a.m.
Consumerism: Modern cultures ritualistic repetition set in place by the momentous plight of a devouring frenzy!
Regardless of what religious or spiritual philosophy you adhere to,
Christmas/New years is about the People,
and the time away from work and our mind/heart numbing daily routines
to appreciate it. Much Love Ya'll
I am currently Anxious
I am listening to pick a string
09/26/2010 08:51 p.m.
im into being more direct now a days..i dont like leaving someone wondering whether i am talking about them or someone else in some vague analogy used to avoid the uncomfortable reality of truth....
if you hammer on a nail and it refuses to go in, eventually you have to reach for a bigger hammer or a sharper nail.
so many choices...so little advice on which one to make.
Ive learned that temptation can be reversed even if it goes against a typical american story book standard....
and if you thought you could just to find out you couldnt.
the disappointment consumes us...
not closed off and deserted...
but peaking from behind an iron curtain
waiting for a chance to perform.
I am currently Lovesick
I am listening to polyrythmic square shaped wheel
06/27/2010 08:03 p.m.
turn...to the left....
turn to the right.....
if you judge me for my faults
my soul searches....
(nevermore) 'moonrise through mirrors of death'
06/20/2010 02:06 a.m.
staring at the moon knowing its gravity is tugging on the earth amazes me..
i close my eyes and i swear i can feel it on my skin like zen...beyond within...
what a beautiful garden our solar system is, galaxy, universe, multi-verse, omniverse...and so on and so on.....
I am listening to gravitational force
im like zero
06/16/2010 05:43 a.m.
Is zero a mathematic black hole?
Can it calculate infinity without getting stuck like a ring on a pole?
This axiom boggles me into
theoretic raving and ranting!
If zero multiplied by anything equals
zero,then infinity multiplied by anything equals infinity.
(0 = c — ∞)The process of zero trying to
multiply infinity into zero must develop a rhythm sustained in a
specific grace that answers itself:)
(y = 0 * ∞)
substitute for zero with the axiom (y = c — ∞ * ∞)
then the infinities cancel each other out (y = c)
too mechanical and cold....i like the philosophically poetic answer better:)
I am listening to contemptuousitated
06/14/2010 05:13 p.m.
i will massage you with razor blades and spoons
i will speak in a language you dont understand
tell me to shut up and i will facial expression you to death!
tell me to stop and i shall use my influence to send a placebo
you shall wake to immediate ungratification
matches burning between your toes:)
paint your faces and lipstick leaves a trail
Silence! ok speak...wait! i have something to say
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