Valentine died for nothing
02/14/2006 06:46 a.m.
Here it is, not even two hours into Valentine's day and I can't wait for it to be over. The only thing I hate more than love is hate.
St Valentine had the best of intentions when he continued marrying couples in spite of the law against it. So he died for love and left those of us who live eternally lonely with a day that only reminds us that love is as imaginary as the institution of marriage.
I don't want to go to bed, I am only going to lay there thinking about the empty space next to me and knowing that even when it was not an empty space, the heart beating within was empty. And so, it was both completely full and completely empty. Does that make me an optimist or a pessimist? Perhaps I am a realist resigned to my destiny.
JJ
I am currently Tired
I am listening to I Am A Rock by Simon and Garfunkle

comments and opinions
01/28/2006 06:27 a.m.
I am thinking it would be a good thing if we were able to respond to comments that members leave in our poems, within the comment field. I get opinionated comments from time to time, which are more like responses to the message in the poem than comments on the quality of the poem. I am not against these kinds of comments, but it only seems fair that if people will leave their opinions on the issues within the poem, then I should have the right to respond on the same page, especially when it's my poem. It could lead to some interesting discussions as well. Needless to say, I had one earlier that I felt so compelled to respond to that I wrote one in the Author's comment field. But if a bunch of other members also commented similarly, I'd run out of space. Well, I am not all that worried, I just think we should have the option to respond where the comment was made. How likely is it that everyone who sees it will think to look in my journal to see if I had a response. And I don't just mean an IM response, because that is only seen by the commenter. If someone leaves it where my poem is, then I should be able to leave my own there as well.

On another note entirely, I passed 4000 reads today. The poem was "The One On My Shoulder - Never Succumb". Not that it means anything, it's just reads, not money. Wouldn't it be nice if we got paid royalties every time someone read one of our poems? Well, that would be impossible, Gavin would go broke in a day. LOL....
JJ
I am currently Feisty
I am listening to You Never Give Me Your Money by the Beatles

Two surpise parties - one weekend
01/23/2006 04:22 a.m.
Well, it was weird, sort of. Two of my friends had surprise birthday parties this weekend. Both parties were a lot of fun and had a lot of people attend. One is a poet and host of an open mic reading in Albany that I frequently read at. He was the featured poet at my own reading at the Moon & River Cafe earlier this month and he has asked me to be the feature at his reading in April.
I am so nervous, even though I have read at many open mics, I have never been the featured poet. So I am going to be doing a lot of practice between now and then.
Well, anyway, the party organizer asked that we write a poem to roast Dan. I have been having terrible writer's block lately. So today, while I was on the bus, going to the party, I was scrambling for an idea to write a poem. I was going through a bunch of poems I had in my bag and noticed I had a copy of "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr Seuss. So I thought it would be amusing to re-write it in Dan's honor. At Dan's readings, he allows poets to recite only one poem. So I decided to call it, "One Poem Dan". I had some fun with it and presented it at the party. It went over very well, got some good laughs, even though I didn't think it was particularly good. But I wasn't really worried about it, as it was all in fun and not something I wrote in seriousness. Several people commented to me after that they loved it. I thought that odd, but I am glad they liked it.
So now I am pondering weather or not I should post it here as a poem I wrote. I suppose it's not much different than what Weird Al does with songs, but I don't really feel like I wrote it. It's a spoof, not a poem. Well, at least it forced me to write something, as I have struggled tremendously for several months. All in all, this is the best weekend I have had in a long time.
JJ

"One Poem Dan"

That's Dan the man
The man called Dan
I do not like
One poem Dan

Do you like
One poem Dan?

I do not like him
That damn Dan
I do not like
one poem Dan

Would you like him
On the Lark?

I would not like him
On the Lark
I would not like him
In the Bookshop
I do not like
One poem Dan
I do not like him
That damn Dan

He won't let me
Read them all
I have so many
Poems here
I'll die before
Anyone can hear
So many words
But not today
I have two new,
is there any way?
But, "only one"
is all Dan would say

Could I read them
Next month please?

You cannot read them
Not on your knees!
Not at the Lark
or the Bookshop
Not Valentines
or Moon and River

I will not hear him here or there
I will not hear him anywhere
I will not listen to one poem Dan
I do not like that poetry man

Would I, could I
Sneak in two?
One title for two
Would be cool
Read them, read them
What to do?
I would not, could not
Break the rule!

JJ!
If you will let me be,
I will feature you
Then you can read
an endless stream
of poem after poem
Just make sure
When you read 'em
You know 'em

SAY!
I kinda like one poem Dan
I do, I like him, good old Dan
And I will read at his open mic
Dan's the man I kinda like

So I will read verse at the Lark
And at Burns statue in the park
And I will read in the cafe
And I will read any time of day
Read them out and read them in
Rhymes are so good, so good, to hear!
So I will read them here and there
Hey! I will read them ANYWHERE!

It's poetry
This ain't no slam!
Thank you,
Thank you
One poem Dan

I am currently Creative
I am listening to Skyline Pigeon by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Thank God it's over!
01/01/2006 05:45 a.m.
The year, the holidays, the past. Now I can think about getting my life back in order, well, it's never really been in order, but I had plans to get it in order last year, and the year before that and the year before that.... So now I have a clean slate and I feel like King Kong sliding on the ice in NY City. All I have to do is hope there isn't an army waiting to blow my dreams away again.

My friends in Arizona decided to move back to NY because things are changing there and all the sudden rents skyrocketed from $550/mo to $900/mo. So I am glad that happened before I up and moved everything I own to the dessert. I guess that means California is my final destination. Funny how these things happen. At least my brother is going to let me move in to his house and I can pay him relatively low rent, get myself on my feet, so long as no earthquakes hit to knock me down. And it will be close to Berkeley, where there is much poetry happening. So I am looking forward to that. I hope I am up to reading in front of the many talented poets out there.
Not that we don't have talented poets here, but the really good ones hardly ever come out to read. I can only think of a half dozen poets who really impress me here, and I am not one of them. So it will be a challenge. Fortunately, I have had lots of practice over the past few years, so I think I will be ok.

I have no idea what I am going to do for work. There is a possibility I will be able to work where my brother works, but I am not sure I really want to be a desk jocky for the rest of my life. I could go back into sales, but I hate being a phony, so that will be a last resort. Maybe I will just take a pie tin up into the hills and pan for gold.

JJ
I am currently Questioning
I am listening to Heart Of Gold by Neil Young

The more things change, the more faces I show
11/25/2005 06:02 a.m.
It is like being in a fun house that is no fun. I am lost in a maze of glass hallways and mirrors that reflect a face I don't recognize. I wander through them forever, no finish line seems to exist, yet somehow I begin again and again with no end.





I am currently Scattered
I am listening to "I'm Looking Through You" by the Beatles

Continuing my previous entry
11/21/2005 03:37 p.m.
There are several students out sick today, six from our homeroom alone. The sickest of all is here again. He has been sleeping, completely oblivious to everything happening arund him. He should be home in bed! At one point, he woke up for a few minutes, coughed a dozen or so time and fell back to sleep. I am coming down with a cold now, so is the teacher in our class. Tomorrow we are going to have our school Thanksgiving party, all the teachers and aides bring in something and we have a big feast with the students. I am bringing in pumpkin pie and cool whip. The teacher in my class is bringing in one of the turkey's. It's going to be great except for the fact that most of the kids will be out sick and the rest of us will likely be getting sicker by the minute. And what do you want to bet this kid with the worst cold of all will be here to make sure that anyone who hasn't caught a cold already, will certainly be sick for Thanksgiving day.
This is typical of so many parents these days. I know a lot of parents are not going to ant to hear what I think, but I really believe that all expectent parents should be required to take parenting classes. Getting pregnent or getting somene else pregnent does not instantly make people quailified to raise children. Most of the students I work with are from single parent homes, usually where the mother has been left to raise the kids on her own. In some cases, this might be for the best, since these dead beat dads aren't worth the child support they don't pay. I am not just spouting off here, it's part of what I see and hear every day. So it doesn't surprise me that a mother would send her kids to school sick, as she is likely overwhelmed at home from having to do al the parenting herself and then all the other things around the house that need to get done.
This leads me to the crux of the problem we have all over America, families. I have to laugh when I hear how people are opposed to gay marriage because it will destroy the institution of marriage. You gotta be kidding? It is straight couples who have already made a mockery of marriage.
People get married when they aren't ready, aren't truely in love and are not committed to staying together when things get tough. I have to wonder if children would be better off growing up with two gay parents who are there for them than one parent who winds up with a revolving door of partners and overwhelmed with too much to do.
JJ
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to The Cats In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

Stay home from school!
11/20/2005 07:53 a.m.
I was very angry yesterday because three kids in our homeroom and English class were very sick with colds. They said their parents made them come to school. Now I am no doctor, but I have worked in the medical field off and on for several years and I know when someone is not faking illness. These kids were coughing, sneazing, hacking, sleeping and unable to do their class work. Not only that, but all the noise they were making made it difficult to hear what was going on in the class. These are high school kids who do not need a baby sitter when they stay home from school. So what is wrong with these parents who insist on sending them to school when they are obviously too sick to go?

Well, it's bad enough that they can't do the work when they are that sick, and they are disrupting class so others can't do it, but by next week, the rest of the students and staff will be sick also. I already feel it coming on today. I ache all over, have a scratchy throat and slept most of the day away. That's one reason I am awake at 2:40am. And to top it off, next week is Thanksgiving. So now, because a few parents are stupid idiots, the rest of us are going to be miserable for Thanksgiving. Gee, thanks!

This seems to happen every year and I say the same thing every year because I always wind up sick on the holidays. This will be my last year working in the school, as I am moving far, far away. I have no idea what I will be doing, but I have been trying to think of a job where I can work far, far away from anyone who might possibly pass their cold on to me just before every holiday and vacation I get. Does anyone know of a job in a basement where I can work alone and stay healthy for the rest of my life?

JJ
I am currently Tired
I am listening to My cough getting louder

In response to IM
11/16/2005 02:42 a.m.
don't try so hard, it's a lot like finding love, when you stop looking, it finds you.
I think there is a feeling by some that they are having their arm twisted behind them and Hulk Hogan is standing there demanding respect. I think it has gotten personal for some. I have decided to stop posting about it. Emotions get the best of us all and I am one who tends to let my emotions control me. I hope this works itself out for all our sakes.

If it helps any, this is how I feel in school often. The kids can push me to my limits and even though I'd be right in sending them to the office and having them suspended for many of the things they say and do, sometimes I hae to be creative. Kicking them out of school doesn't help them, and in the long run, society as a whole is hurt every time a student doesn't graduate. I am not suggesting that the admins are responsible to teach the members lessons, but I think there are times when we can help each other by swollowing our pride and pulling those dangling over the edge up. If they fall on their own, so be it. JJ

I am currently Tired
I am listening to We Can Work It Out by the Beatles

hi skule stupadidity
11/09/2005 06:14 p.m.
well, today was the craziest day at work. there were a few fights in school that somehow escalated into a big brawl. At least 18 students were arrested and several got pepper sprayed. We have been in lock down all day. No students are allowed in the hallways.

They just announced we will be closing early. All students are being sent home at 1:30pm. The entire day was a waste of time. JJ
Maybe I will come to work dressed in my old high school football uniform from now on....


I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkle

Coming on strong all the time
11/02/2005 09:33 a.m.
What is it about control that is so intoxicating? What makes it worth risking everything to maintain or to gain power over others? Is it so hard to let another human being live the life granted to them? Oh, you can't obscure the intent of the words as friendly or brotherly advice, it reeks with the desire to push this life in a direction that suites your own purposes and stops the natural course of choices already made. I am not now, nor will I ever be a pawn! JJ

I am currently Troubled
I am listening to I Me Mine by the Beatles / George Harrison

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