Nothing New
06/05/2005 07:29 a.m.
At the beginning of this year, I was in the early mourning stage of losing my greatest love. Six months later, here I recline, pondering the loss when I should be meditating, improving - writing poetry! Yet, I languish and miss. And I know I'm only minutes from dreams sprinkled w/ images of that beautiful girl. You Were A Liar, Kristy! An oh, too attractive and adept one. Don't you know how to respect love? Sorry, not an eloquent journal entry...
I am currently Hurt
I am listening to Last Goodbye - the Gufs

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The Catalyst of My Media Frenzy
06/05/2005 04:09 a.m.

So below I've pasted the thank you letter I wrote to commend the nice librarians who helped me find my biological family...

Kathleen Huston, City Librarian
Milwaukee Public Library
814 W. Wisconsin Ave
Milwaukee, WI 53233

Dear Kathleen:
I am writing to express my sincere gratitude to two of your employees who helped me on the phone last Thursday. Please acknowledge Brian at the Periodicals desk and – I regret I cannot recall her name--a pleasant lady in the Humanities department for how they helped. In my quest to find my biological sister and family, these two individuals went above and beyond to help me. I called to simply ask where I could go to gain access to relevant archives/microfiche since I am in Arizona. Little did I know that within 24hrs my life would change.
At the time my birth mother gave me up for adoption in 1971, she had an 11 year old daughter. Based on research I obtained 3 years ago from the state Adoption Research Program, I new of her existence and several other details. Most of the information I have is non-identifying social, biological, and medical records from the caseworkers. In order for me to obtain access to my mother’s death certificate and my impounded birth certificate, it would require me to fly to Milwaukee and petition the Circuit Court. Once granted permission from a judge, I would need to file with the adoption agency to uncover the data and then go back to the Register of Deeds. While these channels would probably produce results, it would a hardship as I live in Scottsdale, AZ.

The only information I gave your staff was this: Since my original birth name was Soule Jacobs Bourgeau, I presumed my mother’s last name to be my middle or last name as well. I knew she died in Milwaukee in 1990 of lymphoma and she was born in 1937. I knew I had an older sister and that my mother had two brothers and one sister. My mother came from German and Italian stock and my father from French. Not a lot to work with, yet your staff was kind, professional, and evidently determined to help me. Within an hour they had come up with a Betty Bourgeou (nee Schulhof), DOB 12.30.37, died 02.04.90. Amongst relatives listed in the death notice was her brothers Carl and Bernard Schulhof, sister Lorraine Jahnz, and daughter Barbara Ross. Barbara is my sister with whom I have since been reunited. I had a friend obtain the death certificate and armed with that information and a phone book, I found Lorraine who put me in contact with my sister. As shocked as my dear sister was by my call last Friday, Barbara welcomed me with open arms. I plan to visit Milwaukee soon to give her a hug 33yrs overdue.
My sister is an amazing, dynamic human being! Given she thought Mom miscarried me, she is eager to catch up on lost time. As for my emotions, I have felt euphoric and whole in a way I never thought I would. The best way I can explain my sentiments is with this metaphor: I feel as though I have been given back an arm I had amputated 33yrs ago. Living with the knowledge that my sister was out there and feeling it was likely we would never meet was tough. Regardless of how well loved and protected a child is raised, adoption made a significant impact on the way I developed and the man I came to be. There is an intangible sorrow that hangs over you, regardless how rich and exciting your life is. Somewhere I’ve read that an amputee senses ‘phantom’ tinges in their non-existent arms -- that is how I have felt deep in my soul all my life. An adoptee, in some sense, is an amputee. Last Friday beyond all odds I was reattached to that arm with the help of your staff. Please express my thanks to them both! Make them stand on their respective desks and take a well earned bow. I will never forget what they have done and how they affected a stranger’s life – My Life! -- with their research. You both did a wonderful and genuinely compassionate thing on Friday. Thank you so much! God Bless you in all you do!
Sincerely,

Stephen J. Leger

p.s. Oh, btw – once my story has sunk in, ponder this: Friday was Feb 4th, 2005. –- 15 yrs to the day since our Mom passed away. If that’s coincidence, I’ll eat my shorts.


I am currently Exhausted
I am listening to Hanging On A Curtain - Morphine

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The Ballad of Soulo Jacob
06/05/2005 04:04 a.m.
Hi, All
Jeremy, thanks for warm welcome. I haven't been feeling well or i'd be adding more poetry. I figured this would be a good night instead to introduce myself a bit more intimately to the community. The reality in which I exist was literally exploded on Feb 4th, 2005 (mostly in a good way). My legal name is Stephen J Leger, though since my discovery of some information 3yrs ago pertaining to my existence, I often use my birth name, Soulo Jacob Bourgeou, for a pen name, if you will (my grandfather was Soulo. He had brothers named Hugo and Bruno.). Anyway, I've always known I had a half sister and my 18yr search for her culminated on 02.03.05 with a call to the Milwaukee Library. 20 phone calls and 24 hrs later, I was in contact with my sister, the lovely Barbara Ross. Our mother, whom I have grown to know and love through the words of Barbara, passed away Feb 4th, 1990 - exactly 15 yrs to the day of that phone call. I get chills everytime i say/write that. Wow. Anyway, since then, I have found 3 more sisters AND MY FATHER, which, while a blessing, has been akward getting to know him. But this has been a blessing in so many ways and I love him as much as any of my family I've met. To see pictures of Dad and I side by side is -- spooky. It's like my black and white twin! If you want to see a nice newspaper article on it, look at : http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/mar05/306929.asp .
I had written a thank you letter to the library and the local media contacted me, along with Good Morning America. They wanted to fly us out to New York to be on the show, but we declined. Try, if you can, to imagine the stress! The national media component was too much for us. Next journal entry, i'll put the letter to the library. It's a heart warming story, so if you're in need of a 'feel-good' news piece before bed, here you are (this gets me random hugs and tears from women all the time...lol). Enjoy!
I am currently Exhausted
I am listening to The Saddest Song - Morphine

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Gratitude From An Eviscerated Bard
05/31/2005 11:50 p.m.
I am in awe -- 'godsmacked' for those of you across the pond - by the raw and beautiful and freely shared feelings you all share on this forum! I am so glad I found a place that I can lay my soul and guts bare and exposed through words. Thank you, I look forward to this!
I am currently Content
I am listening to Zeplike - Slightly Stoopid

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