Baghdad Turkey Recipe
11/25/2005 10:15 p.m.
Dig a hole in the backyard
Add 3 c4 satchel charges
Add turkey
Sprinkle hickory chips over the top
Cover with dirt
Light det cord and hide behind blast wall
Uncover turkey and blast dirt off w/ air compressor
Serve and enjoy!
Makes 8,952 one ounce servings
(Best done w/ a live turkey)
I am currently Bored
I am listening to Ted Just Admit It - Jane's Addiction

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Cranberries Are Slippery
11/25/2005 04:01 a.m.
I am thankful for the 1st Annual Cranberry Sauce Wrestling Championship which I'm sponsoring tonight. Entrants still welcome. Bring another kiddie pool though. The first one's annihilated.
(Proceeds to go to the Ronald McDonald House for Children of Parents Injured Participating in Cranberry Sauce Ultimate Wresling Championships.)
I am currently Silly
I am listening to Michael Buffer, Master of Ceremonies

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No Chump Love Sucker
11/20/2005 05:58 a.m.
I have an anniversary coming up. It's in, like 5 wks, but nudged along by a couple recent Pathetic members' laments, Miller High Life, and favorite songs laden w/ memory, thus my rant is born tonight. I'm sure there's more positive affirmations of true love, but the only one I know is 11 months of love sickness. At some point, our nervous system just disallows us to continue to suffer. The soul, however, doesn't have a backup system. Sigh.
I am currently Thoughtfull
I am listening to No Chump Love Sucker - RHCP

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A Personal Retrospect on Hurricanes
11/20/2005 05:26 a.m.
Just to put this wild hurricane season into perspective: They've exhausted the alphabet naming system and Hurricane Gamma is now hauling ass I just heard.
In November 1994 I was living in a tent guarding Haitians at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. In addition to pissed off, nervous prisoners, we had lumber flying around and tent stakes uprooting in 140mph winds. Gordon had killed over 100 in Haiti and was bearing down on us. Any of you who've experienced Mother Earth's wrath on this scale know how she deserves respect and awe from us lowly souls.
That awe is what made my eyes well up w/ sympathy for my fellow Americans that suffered through Katrina and Rita.
I promised perspective though: That was NOVEMBER and the storm naming system WAS ONLY UP TO THE LETTER 'G'!! Wow. For all our technology, mother Gaea is still in charge.
I am currently Awestruck
I am listening to True Men Don't Kill Coyotes - RHCP

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Mild Winter Blues
11/19/2005 08:55 p.m.
Today in Phoenix it's nearly eighty degrees and sunny. The newspaper even has an article on how to do a Thanksgiving place setting so you can serve your guests...on your patio! In contrast, winter has set in with blustery 20 degree fashion back home (Milwaukee). Call me crazy, I'd rather be in WI right now. I miss my family. I spent the first 33 yrs of life not knowing them and I can't go home for the holidays. I miss buying a cool winter jacket each fall too. Sigh.
I am currently Bored
I am listening to talk radio

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Scheduled Downtime
11/15/2005 05:36 a.m.
During the hours of 11:00pm - 6:30am AzSD (Arizona standard time), my brain will be offline for cerebral upgrades and repair. Please do not contact via email or telepathy during these hours. I ask that any contact made by astral projection or remote viewing be restricted to apparitions of mystical elfish females (Liv Tyler with a bowl of fruit, for example..).
I am currently Jumbled
I am listening to Mark Sandman

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My Benediction To The Ladies of Pathetic
11/14/2005 08:22 a.m.
"May angels dance on your eyelids and devils tickle your panties."
I am currently Tired
I am listening to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

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'Creative Hiatus'
11/14/2005 07:54 a.m.
That's politically correct for 'writer's block'. I've just been through some stressful, funked up times lately. I've got 4 poems I've started and just hit a road block. It's dumb to push aside my poetry when it probably could be an imperative cataylst to get me through some of these life challenges, no? So to all my pathetic friends, I may be down, but never out. I'll get my creative flair back soon....
I am listening to ufo/conspiracy late night talk radio

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Dresden Serendipity
07/10/2005 03:52 a.m.
Sometimes a song touches you not so much because you empathize, but it's so damn literal to what you've experienced. I've been plauged by white 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokees since I got cheated on in December. Check out the Dresden Dolls song:

The Jeep Song

i've been driving around town
with my head spinning around
everywhere i look i see
your '96 jeep cherokee

you're a bully and a clown
you made me cry and put me down
after all that ive been through
you'd think i'd hate the sight of you

but with every jeep i see
my broken heart still skips a beat
i guess its just my stupid luck
that all of boston drives that same black fucking truck

it could be him or am i tripping
and i'm crashing into everything
and thinking about skipping town a while
until these cars go out of style...

i try to see it in reverse
it makes the situation hundreds of times worse
when i wonder if it makes you want to cry
every time you see a light blue volvo driving by

so dont tell me that you're off to see the world
i know you wont get very far
dont call me if you get another girl baby
just call me if you get another car

the number of them is insane
every exit's an exboyfriend memory lane
every major street's a minor heart attack
i see a red jeep and i want to paint it black

it could be him or am i tripping
and i'm crashing into everything
i can't wait til you trade that fucker in
by then they will have stuck me in the looney bin

it could be him my heart is pounding
its just no use i'm surrounded
but someday i'll steal your car and switch the gears
and drive that cherokee straight off this trail of tears






I am currently Lovesick
I am listening to This Song

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Star Spangled Refelction
07/05/2005 06:18 a.m.
Who can recite the Star Spangled Banner For Me? - I mean all 4 stanzas. I sure couldn't. Then I read an eloquent editorial in the paper today ( http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/opinions/articles/0704mon1-04.html )
The history of this anthem (originally a poem) is both proud and harsh, and I thought it appropriate to share this piece by a patriotic poet with my Pathetic family today. Happy Birthday!

The Star-Spangled Banner

O say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?


On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


O thus be it ever when free-men shall stand
Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

—Francis Scott Key, 1814

I am currently Nostalgic
I am listening to The In Sound From Way Out - Beastie Boys

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