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The Journal of Bradd Howard

lip gloss and abductions
08/22/2005 04:04 p.m.
I'm thinking about your lip gloss, the shiny promise of it... I kissed you and it left sticky clear lines across my lips. Charged with that kiss I walked home. I never thought I was anything less than invincible. But a man coming from behind you and pointing a gun to your head can make you feel like the small lump of flesh that you really are. Soft and squishy... not hard like I always imagine myself. Being abducted at gun point... made to load all of your possessions into a car. Pleading that he just "not take my music man... anything but my music!" I have a gun pointed at my head and I'm begging this guy not to take my Ani Difranco! I guess you never know how you will react in these situations until you find yourself in them. I'm always the strong one, able to laugh off all my problems... I can't laugh this away. This man stole the one thing I loved the most... the freedom to be alone. the comfort in my solitude. I now can't function with out being surrounded by people. Sorry to all who are reading this... I'm still processing through... expect more along these lines... as I try to feel safe in my body again.
I am currently Paranoid
I am listening to the silence around me

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sighs and more sighs
06/28/2005 06:58 p.m.
feeling completely restless... know there is more that I should be doing, but not sure how to even do it. How to get all those thoughts to transition into something worthwhile? wish I knew...

this is my first journal entry on-line... there it is...
I am currently Brooding
I am listening to the killers

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