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The Journal of Mark Maxey

Update on me
02/15/2007 05:39 p.m.
well...what can I say....went out did the whole touring bit with a band I work with....they fell apart....did not have any money to pay me for my work.....ended up homeless for a few weeks....but now got things sorta going on.

Taking a break from the music biz....except for a few bands I still network with and have a relationship with. I am learning the mandolin and getting back into old tyme bluegrass music. As well thats the slant I am now writing too....LOL

anyway...living at a hotel....lost my house, car, and everything.....best to be zen like huh?

Got some job possibilities I am working on....so keep me in your prayers....and I trudge back to rebuild my life from scratch.....kinda nice in a way....but sucks too.

LOL

Peace

M
I am currently Cheerful
I am listening to Bill Monroe

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Sunday Muses
05/08/2005 05:31 p.m.
coffee (black mayan mixed with exotic hawaiian blend), cigarettes, acoustic guitar mixed with storytelling words...these are my muses this morning. As I wade through transcription of two interviews for monday's deadline with a newspaper.

Spent the evening with a new talent I am managing with their young emo/acoustic/screamo band....the modern trend...and I am 20 years outside that loop.

But you know...it's good to be where I am...busy...but passion driven dreams coming true with music, art, words, and life....

did I win the lottery or what?

M
I am currently Calm

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April 23
04/24/2005 01:21 a.m.
Hum.....46 poems written since Jan. 1....113 days....2.4 poems a day (mathmatically) ???

Why do we as writers feel we have to quantify our work?

Why do we judge our works against others, not knowing their situations, life issues, or experiences....we are all unique...all struggling to release the door that holds our greatest work...

we trudge along...day by day...moment by moment...growing, seeking, experiencing...to use as the catapault for our own writings...

my muses....where have you gone?


M
I am currently Clueless

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Friday Night at the Studio
04/16/2005 06:28 a.m.
spent the evening at the studio, hanging with some of the locals. Man, what a place....over 20 bands under one roof...all with studio space about the size of a bedroom. All insulated and soundproofed. Spent most of the evening with Taylor Followill and his girlfriend and then later on with the other members of Red Light Knights. They are brothers and cousins of Kings of Leon. Man let me tell ya..these boys can jam and play and sing like no other southern rock band. It was so kewl to see such raw energy being expressed in one room. Then of course it broke down to an estande night followed with the boys kicking my ass in foosball. Oh yeah...this place has a local lounge where you can hang, smoke and play video games or foosball. Nice hang out place for the weekends! It even comes with a mini stage where you can have an intimeate night of music for friends. Oh well...it's past my bedtime and I got a few more beers to drink then off to bed.

Check out the Red Light Knights at Red Light Knights and you can check out DOWNTOWN MUSIC BOX at Downtown Music Box
I am currently Awestruck
I am listening to Red Light Knights

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OMG does life ever slow down?
04/13/2005 02:57 a.m.
I have tried to keep in touch with so many on here. But in the past few months my life has drastically changed and continues to change. Work has turned into me becoming resposible for many projects and new tasks. My personal life has changed in that I am now seeing dreams long ago forgotten come back into my path. At times I feel I am on a running track with no rest, while other days...it seems I have enough time to do it all. LOL

NOt complaining...just venting...LOL

oh well....not sure it makes me feel any better....but at least it's out of my head...

M
I am currently Overwhelmed

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Chicago Tribune to use poem
02/14/2005 10:43 p.m.
WOW...today was just a blah...monday...till I got an email from the Chicago Tribune...was just notified that one of my poems, Evince... April 25, 1990, which is about the demise of the Hubble, will be used in a story for on the Hubble...for the Chicago Tribune....WOW...made my Monday... :P
I am currently Amazed

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I Have A New Poetry Book Published
02/14/2005 12:36 a.m.
Was able to get my new poetry book published and is now up on the web for sale... New Poetry Book for Sale

I am currently Cheerful

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Friendship and Artists
02/02/2005 03:22 a.m.
I had an amazing weekend despite my health issues I am facing now.

While in college I grew to love and adore the work of German Expressionist, Kaethe Kollwitz. I read her diary and found her belief and structure for her art...to move society into a more humane way of living...to be so wonderful. In her diary she spoke of how her friends...mutual poets, writers and artists would spend countless hours fellowshipping and drinking coffee at the local hang-outs. HOw I wish I could be part of something like this.

16 years later...that is how I am living my life. From my local peers here in OKC to the cyber peers I have on Pathetic.org...my life is a mystery I am still unraveling...
The local writers, artists, muscians...I spent the weekend with...truly are my friends...that love me...accept me...and appreciate the art I create...the cyber friends here...show me how special art is...and how humbled I am to be part of something this globably.

Funny words can't even describe how I feel right now...but this is truly an amazing life I get to play a role in...

ahhh...friends...art...music...coffee...wine...friends....creating art....ahhhh...what a blessed life....

:P

Mark
I am currently Happy
I am listening to Sigur-Ros

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Dr's Report as of Today
01/29/2005 12:34 a.m.
HI,

Here is the latest update that I have...

Met today with my orthopedist and neurologist. My orthopedist explained my EMG report which showed abnormalities in both my right and left legs with neuropathy. Explained what it could be...but said the neurologist would do into things deeper. He did say that he would get an MRI scheduled to see if my back or spine is the cause...but right now they don't know.

Met with the neurologist (which he is the top dog in charge with MDA neurology in OK) and asked me questions about health...problems and such so he could compile his thoughts based on the EMG. Then he took me into the exam room where he tested both the right and left legs. This comprised of him testing muscle strengths with me trying to move my parts of the legs and toes with his holding his hand as resistance. Then he placed a tuning fork on both legs and toes and asked me to tell him when I felt the vibrations and the cesesation of the vibrations. Then he poked, stabbed, and scratched both legs and feet/toes with a tongue depressor and asked if I felt any of those sensations.

My sister attended the exam, as she is a medical professional and can interpret what the big words doctors uses that mean diddly squat to me. Her reaction I saw in the corner of my eye was her hand over her mouth and a funny look, as I told the doctor in some places I felt nothing.

As it turns out the neuropathy is in both legs and my left leg is somewhat as numb as my right, while it is my right leg that is showing more of the signs...but both legs are in neuropathy stage.

The initial blood results are back...and it is not diabetes, it is not arthritis, it is not thyroid, and the white/red blood counts are good.

The neurologists said the MRI might show something...but in some cases with asthma patients (which I am asthmatic) and frequent sinus infections, that for some odd reason the patients with long term use of the asthma patients...neuropathy happens. He went on to say that 50% of these cases are idiopathic (which means the medical professionals are clueless as to why).
He is running more blood work to rule out other things...and my MRI is coming up...and if it shows nothing...then a biopsy is planned on two parts of my right foot and leg for him to look at the blood vessels in the nerves and muscles.

Good news is we know it is not muscular dystrophy, arthritis, diabetes, thyroid...so more testing and we will see...

In the meantime...per my sisters recommendation...I will begin a therapy of mind imagery...coupled with meditation and focus on that this "disease" will not go any further and rest more often so my nerves and muscles can hopefully heal themselves...

As I get further information...I will post and keep everyone up to date.

Thank you all for your calls, e-mails...thoughts...prayers...and concern. It means a lot to me and my family right now as I face one of the most trying journeys in my life...

Peace

Mark

I am currently Overwhelmed

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Not A Good Day
01/27/2005 02:05 a.m.
Well today has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I went in for my EMG test to see where the problems were as it relates to my numbness and lack of muscle control on my right leg. Unfortunately the tests uncovered a total body neuropathy. They don’t know why yet…but in the next 3 weeks I do know I will be going under a lot of tests…a lot…for them to find the reason. Basically right now, none of my nerves or muscles is “normal” and I am losing control of those as well. Today I really did not expect the doctor to finish the test with the words, “Well there is no good news, it all bad, you have total nerve and muscle neuropathy in your body, none of your nerves is normal.” That as not a good diagnosis…as I said, it has been a very emotional day. I know deep within whatever they find, I will see this through and I will heal…one way or the other…As I find out more…I am sure I will post and let my friends and community know. What follows is what I found on the net with neuropathy…have fun reading…I know I did, LOL…for now…I wait…please keep me in your thoughts and prayers…as I know I will need and use them!

Neuropathy describes damage to the nerves, the vast communications network that transmits information from the brain and spinal cord to every other part of the body. It may be caused by diseases of the nerves or as the result of systemic illnesses. Many neuropathies have well-defined causes such as diabetes, uremia, AIDs, or nutritional deficiencies. In fact, diabetes is one of the most common causes of neuropathy. Other causes include mechanical pressure such as compression or entrapment, direct trauma, penetrating injuries, contusions, fracture or dislocated bones; pressure involving the superficial nerves (ulna, radial, or peroneal) which can result from prolonged use of crutches or staying in one position for too long, or from a tumor; intraneural hemorrhage; exposure to cold or radiation or, rarely, certain medicines or toxic substances; and vascular or collagen disorders such as atherosclerosis, systemic lupus erythematosus, scleroderma, sarcoidosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and polyarteritis nodosa. Although the causes of neuropathy are diverse, they produce common symptoms including weakness, numbness, paresthesia (abnormal sensations such as burning, tickling, pricking or tingling) and pain in the arms, hands, legs and/or feet. A large number of cases are of unknown cause.

I am currently Depressed

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