Prayer of St. Patrick
03/18/2005 04:37 a.m.
I take for my sureties:

The power of God to guide me,
The might of God to uphold me,
The wisdom of God to teach me,
The eye of God to watch over me,
The ear of God to hear me,
The word of God to give me speech,
The hand of God to protect me,
The way of God to go before me,
The shield of God to shelter me....

Christ be with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
-St. Patrick

**Happy St. Patrick's Day. God bless and keep you. ~Shonda**

I am currently Lucky
I am listening to the sound of my thoughts.

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Watch out people, I'm thinking...
03/17/2005 05:37 a.m.
So I was thinking ~ which I occasionally do ~ and yes, it does hurt sometimes (to think) ~ but not today, so you are safe (maybe) ~ uumm, where was I?

Oh, the thinking part.
If March 15 is the Ides of March
and March 17 is St. Patrick's Day

What must be snuggled betwixt these two?
So I googled and found out that today is...

Everything You Do Is Right Day ~ sure wish someone would have warned me earlier. Maybe then I would have done everything right for a change. Not wasted my holiday!

But after all, I am always the last to know.
I will be prepared for next year though.

Funny ~ everything about this entry is just wrong.
Wrong I tell ya. And why am I not surprised.

So Happy Everything You Do Is Right Day!
**hope ya did it all right, because you only have one day to do it**
Ok, I am going to bed now, before I do something else wrong. :)
I am currently Scattered
I am listening to nothing.

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love written down
03/13/2005 04:10 a.m.
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

~just like heaven ~ the cure

**had it in my cd player, and realized how much I loved this song, then I realized how long I have loved this song, and thought to myself ~ the most honest love song ever written ~ one day...maybe my love will be written down**
I am currently Empty
I am listening to just like heaven ~ the cure.

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she ain't scared of no boogeyman
03/07/2005 04:34 a.m.
Nannie's party went well. And we even managed to pull it off without her suspecting a thing. Which is hard considering she is one of those nosey types. Gotta love her for that!
She was so surprised she actually jumped. We had it at her church, which is only about 3 minutes from here. My aunt told her that they were going out to eat. Had to get her out of the house, and that never happens after it gets dark.
So here is the scene: we all parked in the back of the church save one vehicle (one she did not recognize), turned out all the lights to the church and then propped the door open. As if someone was in the church and was not supposed to be. (aren't we evil) Actually I am really surprised she even approached the church in such circumstances. She is so afraid of the "times" that she doesn't even go out at night.(as mentioned above) She worries about me all the time. I guess that comes with living across the street from her. Anywho ~ seems once again I have gotten off the subject. Where was I? Oh, yes ~ our evilness!
So when Aunt Cathey pulls up, Nannie actually gets out of the car to investigate. But here is where I was so proud of my Nannie. She leaves her car door open in case she needs to make it back to the car in a hurry.
So not only is my Nannie gutsy and cautious, she is also smart. (now I see where I get it from) She was willing to walk into that big church not knowing what to expect. But she was prepared for whatever it was. Now she has no room to lecture me on my night time ventures. (but of course she will and I will listen, because she is Nannie ~ and that is that)
But instead of the boogeyman, she found all of us. And when she walked in and we turned on the lights yelling surprise ~
she jumped, then she cried.
And the rest as they say is history.
I am currently Proud
I am listening to my tv ~ what a strange thing to listen to!

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young at heart
03/04/2005 01:15 a.m.
Tomorrow my Nannie turns 77 years young.
She made the comment a few weeks ago that she sure wished she was young enough to have a birthday party.
Well, I believe she is. It seems a few others agree!
And this year, she is getting one.
The whole family is giving her a surprise birthday party at her church tomorrow night. *raises finger to mouth* (sssh, she doesn't expect a thing)
It's gonna be a hum-dinger of a party! All for her.
I can't wait to see the look on her face. I know she will have tears of joy.
I love my Nannie. She means so much to me. As she does to so many. Friends and Family!
I know that a party can't really express how much she means to all of us, but I know she will know.
Yea, she will know.
And that will be the best present she will ever receive!
(Happy Birthday Nannie! I love you!)

I am currently Excited
I am listening to the turkeys next door ~ they are gobbling. (don't ask)

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guess I should be careful...
02/24/2005 05:04 a.m.
Anyone who has read my bio knows I am addicted to Carmex.
My tube of Carmex now comes with a drug label.
Sometimes I wonder if the FDA thinks we are all just a bunch of morons.
The included warnings are:
For external use only. (not even gonna go there ~ if you are going to use it that way, well then you are a moron)
When using this product avoid contact with eyes. (my mouth is really close to my eyes, and there is always the danger of that nervous twitch)
Stop use and ask doctor if irritation and rash occurs. (a rash and/or irritation? on my mouth? you better believe I'll ask my doctor and I don't need a warning)
Keep all medicines out of reach of children. (this one deserves its place on the label ~ bravo FDA ~ I really mean that)
They even tell me how to use my coveted tube of Carmex:
Apply liberally and evenly as often as necessary, and before exposure to sun, wind, or cold (so glad we cleared that one up)
Consult a physician for use in children under 6 months of age (for anyone who has ever used Carmex ~ you know it is not chapstick, I would not even use this on my 8 year old nephew ~ this is for older individuals only)
This is a personal care item and should be used by one individual only. (hey ~ can I borrow your... never mind ~ hopefully you get the picture)
Anywho ~ I feel so much closer to my tube of Carmex, now that I know all her pros and cons.
It's so nice to feel edumacated.
Thanks FDA.
**none of this is meant to offend anyone, so if you work for the FDA, please except my apologies and if you are a Carmex addict such as myself, you now have been warned**
I am currently Dorky
I am listening to the warnings, oh the warnings!

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journal entry ~ August 8, 1995
02/23/2005 04:23 a.m.
Sometimes I like to sit and think random thoughts. No music to distract and allude me (as it sometimes does), but just the noises in my head and those around me. Be they frightening or peaceful.
I think about the past and how it has shaped me. Memories I had tucked safely away spring back as if being instantly reborn into my present status. Then I realize ~ they are yesterday. I am today. And tomorrow is only in my dreams.
I wonder if I'll be alone for the rest of my life? Or if I'll ever see my old friends, and how will we treat each other? And sometimes I wonder if I pop into their minds like they sometimes pop into mine. The most frightening is, I wonder what my lifetime holds in store for me.
Your best friend is still a unique stranger. One can never wholly know another human being. But yet, we are so close ~ as if we have been with each other all along, only hidden within the visions. Once unleashed, no one is ever the same.
That is how we create our yesterdays. Fill our empty pockets with colorful memories. Memories that do indeed last a lifetime.
Perhaps that is our only tomorrow we will ever receive.
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to dvd background music (movie ~ Saw ~ don't ask).

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halfway to 60
02/18/2005 01:54 a.m.
It came and went.
Without any fanfare.
Without any major breakdowns.
Without anything really.

Just a few phone calls and some emails.
Nothing else.

I think I like it that way.
I was really dreading it too.
I know it's just a thing.
Another day.
Everyone has to endure it once a year.

So yeah, I need to get over myself.
Stop wondering when my life is going to begin.
Stop asking myself where all the years went.
Just stop and live.

I turned 30 yesterday.
And today ~ I cried.
Alone.
Depressed.
Same as yesterday ~ only a year older.
Moments passing into minutes passing into hours passing into days ~
passing me by.

I am currently Unsure
I am listening to my biological clock.

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a poem from Poe on V-Day
02/15/2005 12:00 a.m.
I don't like Valentine's Day.
Never have, probably never will.

But I do adore a good love poem, that is....
only if it was written by Poe.

To F----S S. O----D
Edgar Allan Poe (1835)
Thou wouldst be loved?--then let thy heart
From its present pathway part not!
Being everything which now thou art,
Be nothing which thou art not.
So with the world thy gentle ways,
Thy grace, thy more than beauty,
Shall be an endless theme of praise
And love--a simple duty.

Bravo, Poe.

**ahh, to be the one whom this was written for ~ a girl can dream can't she? maybe one day someone will write something like this for me....maybe**
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to my doggies barking.

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it ain't easy being blue
02/11/2005 06:21 a.m.

Your Heart is Blue


What Color is Your Heart?
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Happy Valentine's Day to me. :(
I am currently Blue
I am listening to the noise of the tv.

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