a fresh couch for Christmas
12/11/2004 04:22 a.m.
Spent the evening with my family.
Mom, Dad, Brothers, Sis-in-Law, Nannie, Nephew, Niece, and Adopted Brother.
Came home and my phone machine was flashing.
That never happens.
Hit the blue button.
Listened.
It was my former pastors wife, Sister Judy.
Calling to let me know that she has a good as new couch that needs a fresh home.
And it just so happens, I have a home that needs a fresh couch.
You see my couch has Jack Russellitius.
Make that Jack Russell Puppitius.
When I brought my little Squire home just 32 short months ago, I had this beautiful couch.
Matched my living room perfectly.
They (the couch and living room) had a good thing goin' on.
If ya know what I mean!
He was 6 weeks old. And weighed only 5 pounds.
Still my couch was no match.
Over the next 16 or so months...
He ate my couch.
Literally.
Both wooden arms. Middle cushion. Cover.
Gone.
And I couldn't punish him. He was only teething. Babies do that ya know. His teeth hurt him.
Expensive teether if you ask me.
So now, my little boy is all grown up.
The only thing he chews on is his chew toy.
Good boy.
So I can invite a fresh couch into my house without fear of it being eaten.
I am so happy.
Christmas came a little early this year.

I am currently Happy
I am listening to Squire chewing on his chew toy~ not the couch!

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weighing my poetry
12/08/2004 03:25 a.m.
Every time I try to pen something happy and cheerful,
it just doesn't make any sense.
I can't get it to come together.
I would love to write beautiful poetry on Love and Happiness.
Peace. Gentleness. Smiles, Hugs, Kisses.
Instead, I tend to dwell on the Death of these.
The Bitterness of life.
The Mistakes.
The Sadness. Gloom, Doom, Ruin.
(yuck~ and I wonder why I am depressed all the time)

Perhaps, it is my lot in life.
Someone has to write those things, right?
I really don't mind.

I wonder why, even when I try; I just can't seem
to bring the good into something that it is not.
Don't know why I bother.

I still try though.
Maybe one day.

Until then,
I shall stick to what I know...

I am currently Bemused
I am listening to my tv in the background.

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my list
12/07/2004 05:44 a.m.
#1 I am a child of God.
#2 He doesn't make junk. (or so I've been told)
#3 I am worthy of being loved.
#4 I am loved.
#5 I do receive blessings. (not because I deserve them, but because He thinks I deserve them)
#6 I am aware of my blessings.
#7 I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life.
#8 I do have friends. (maybe not tangible, but friends none the less)
#9 I am beautiful.
#10 Because beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.
#11 And God is the Beholder.
#12 I am going to fight this depression.
#13 I will win.
#14 I am holding my head up.
#15 I believe that God hears our prayers.
#16 Prayers are answered.
#17 I am not fat.
#18 I am simply fluffy by nature.
#19 And somewhere out there, there is a man who will love my fluffy nature.
#20 If you can't laugh at yourself, what is the point?
#21 I am laughing right now.
#22 I have not laughed in long time.
#23 And it feels so good.

(just wanted to say thanks to everyone who sent me comments, notes, or emails regarding my last few posts ~ you know who you are ~ you have been a real blessing to me)
I am currently Blessed
I am listening to the rain.

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nothing
12/06/2004 12:29 a.m.
It's raining.
It's gloomy.
I'm lonely.
I'm depressed.
My phone never rings.
My house is too quiet.
I really am not happy.

Oh, and I seem to have lost my ability to write.
(As if I ever had one.)

I see no way out of this misery I call life.
I'm spent.

I am currently Empty
I am listening to my life, which is nothing.

Comments (1)

I have a question...
12/04/2004 05:35 p.m.
How in the the world does one of the comments made about one of your poems just disappear?

I am not losing my mind. I know that my "Pathetic Emotions" had two comments given to it on the day it was posted. Please forgive me for not remembering the name of the woman who left me the comment. I am getting old!

All I can remember is she said it was "supa cute". And if I am not mistaken, I even replyed back to thank her. I really enjoyed that comment. :(

Anywho, when I logged in yesterday. Poof. It was gone. The only reason I noticed it was my comments # had decreased. I much prefer that # to increase though.

I am a newbie. So I don't know all the nooks and crannies of Pathetic, but I did not think that anyone could erase a comment about a poem except maybe the author (?), and the only way to do that is to delete the entire poem right? And I know for a fact that I didn't erase it or delete it.

Oh well. If anyone reading this (if anyone does read this) knows anything about my little dilemma, please, please, please let me know how that happened.

I am losing sleep.

Thanks!
I am currently Clueless
I am listening to my printer spitting out pages.

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Christmas or Christ-mass?
12/03/2004 01:07 a.m.
I mailed my Christmas cards off yesterday.
Wanted to get it out of the way.
I really am not enjoying this
ho-ho-holiday season stuff. Bah Humbug.
No, I will not be putting up a
Christmas tree. No one ever comes to see
me anyway, so what would be the point?
The traffic from all the shoppers
drives me crazy. No pun intended. Everyone
is in such a rush.
And all this sappy, silly music has
got to go. Who really wants front teeth
for Christmas anyway?
I used to enjoy the Christmas season, but
somewhere along the way ~ it seems we (the
world in general) have forgotten the
meaning of it all.
We seemed to have misplaced the True Gift.

The Gift of Jesus Christ.
That precious Baby born so long ago.

So I am boycotting Christmas this year.
Instead, I will be celebrating
CHRIST~MAS. Now, I feel better.


I am currently Better
I am listening to my doggies barking.

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letter to Santa
11/27/2004 06:43 p.m.
November 27, 2004

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Colin's Christmas party. It was Sonja who spiked the punch with too much Diet Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 30 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Kathy's shirt on my head and danced the tango on the couch while singing `I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus'. I didn't mean to break Colin's dvd player and don't know why Colin would sue me for murder.

I don't remember calling Timothy's wife a hot pig---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kimberly's husband's finger, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wet dog and have me arrested for burglary!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all moody and slimy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cold stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and simply yours,
Shonda (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 7 bucks!


write yor own letter to Santa - just go to
http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

I am currently Silly
I am listening to the Fall wind blowing the leaves.

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stuffing, anyone?
11/25/2004 01:49 a.m.

Just could not resist this cute quiz. Who woulda thunk it, that I was the stuffing? Actually, it makes quite a bit of sense. Hope every one has a very blessed Thanksgiving. Let us not forget the real reason why we are so thankful. God's love, grace, and salvation!

You Are the Stuffing

You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

the perfect day
11/18/2004 09:36 p.m.
I love days like today.
It is cold, wet, and calling.
Calling for me to surrender myself in its moment.

Slept until 11:00.
Wrapped in my warm covers.
So glad that I did not have to experience the loud beep-beep-beep of my usual morning friend.

(I am on vacation...remember *smiles*)

Don't have to get dressed.
Don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't have to face the world.

Just get lost in my day.
Curled up in my bed.
With a good book.
Cozy covers.
Songs of rain to soothe me.

No worries what so ever.
Not wanting this to end.

At least not for today.

My Perfect Day.
I am currently Calm
I am listening to the moments.

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needing this
11/13/2004 12:28 a.m.
The first thing I did when I sat down in my car tonight after work was take a deep breath and exhale.

I am on vacation next week, and it is long overdue. Don't have to return until the 22nd of November!

Work has been real stressful here lately and this break could not have came at a more appropriate time.

Don't have any big plans, but sometimes those vacations at home are the best vacations of all.

Besides ~ can we all say BROKE, NO MONEY, BUSTED, DRY ~ ok, you get the point. I will make due with what I have, or in this case what I don't have.

It doesn't really matter anyway, as long as I don't have to go to the office.

For the next nine days, the word work will not be a part of my vocabulary.

That is the true meaning of vacation.
I am currently Glad
I am listening to the quiet of my home.

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