Monday Jan. 26
01/27/2004 05:02 a.m.
I'm weighed down with all I've consumed...again out of control. I am trying to be aware - trying to see myself...but there is this big bulge in my stomach and it is so hard to ignore! I just have to STOP...simple simple simple as that
I am currently Melancholy
I am listening to sleeping dogs

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Sunday, January 25
01/25/2004 09:54 a.m.
So it's 4:45 am on Saturday and I'm shuffling through libraries. People have raw and beautiful thoughts. I love how a poem is a picuture into the mind of the writer, as all art tends to be...I must be very very tired, but I'm on my 3rd wing...no worries, I can last a bit longer, maybe to 5? Steve just went upstairs to bed, he's been reading for hours. I, well I did some cleaning...and some projecting hahahaha! But seriously I think it worked for a few moments anyway. In the beginning, when I actually thought of my goal, (to slow down time), I ended up slowing my physical motions instead. I realized this was wrong, backwards. So I just looked at what I was doing as I was doing it. I looked at my gloved hands and how they moved over the dishes, I saw the running water in all the angles it was hitting the plates....and then I did something weird, for a moment. I looked at what I was doing and thought about myself thinking about and looking at what I was doing...whew, it was a strange feeling, kind of like looking straight into a mirror for too long...you begin to question the origin of your existence and question whether the face you see before you is truly your own face...the real question is, how has this cleaning experience made my life better...?
I am currently Detached
I am listening to silence

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