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The Journal of Christopher Shin

Angelic Me
05/16/2010 07:09 a.m.
I'm me as the old bottle dies as the last crimson fades in my tongue. The poison seems to spew from my mouth, and a new bottle is opened. And I face the world in the middle of the early morning with red. I try to figure myself, but only find myself alone in this world. Can I be the only soul in my own city with angels that seem to ignore me?

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Dark Days and Me
04/18/2010 08:42 a.m.
I feel like I'm the black day. As I struggle each day to find the meaning behind the drinking. I struggle against the light, and only find the dying hope. I laugh as the world spins on, and I'm just a speck. I feel the gasping only to laugh as you laugh at me. Cause I'm not the meaning, and the ending is just the biggest joke. So I fell on dark days.

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Recycle.
03/27/2010 06:37 a.m.
I am nobody of importance yet I want want to leave the mark. My body has marks of you and me. Yet only the thoughts of chaos linger in it. I drink each night hoping for hope. Only to find that it is gone by the morning. The light from the sunlight takes away any dream. The night seem only me to drag me back, and I'm sad all over again.

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Chinese and Wine
01/19/2010 07:12 a.m.
Cheap chinese and red wine lingers in my vein. I burnt my tongue eating beef and snow peas. What a night. Not so crazy like everybody else, but hey I have a busy day tomorrow. So what's new.

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Tonight and Thoughts
01/18/2010 11:44 p.m.
Do you ever feel that the night is more then you? When the day light sky is more velvet then blue? I seem to see only stars during the day then I see the sunlight burning bright. My head feels like clouds in a hazy sky. I feel completely lost in my broken thoughts.

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I hate loving
11/26/2009 11:47 a.m.
They say time is the one that makes you wiser.
But I'm not that honest with myself.
I am a fool amongst the wisdom long said.

I am a desperate hope that all
lovers sing about in their
state of darkness.

I am the loner in the sea
of the ocean of you.
I hate loving the world,
and infatuated youth.

I hate myself for
loving like all of you.

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Close to Halloween
10/26/2009 07:11 a.m.
Samhain is drawing close, and I wonder if it's true about legends. When the veil of the living and the dead is thin. What would I say to a ghost? What would they say to me? I doubt there would be any warning or threat. Maybe a hello and a goodbye. A common thing that strangers say to each other. Who knows what the world brings, but maybe that is the duality of life. Boring and predictable.
I am currently Bored

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A contradiction of Love
10/01/2009 07:07 a.m.
I wish I could count them. The stars as I struggle to find a meaning in the destruction that explodes and destroys me. A smile and I am broken as she tells me that blue skies are abundant. So I drag the first step and wish you were a soul that I could be near. So I drink and dine and stab. But you're still there and my soul wants to find the perfect ending. But I'm not destined to have the ending fit for all tortured souls. So you laugh and I am in love. You make fun of me, and I am spellbound.

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Immortal
09/29/2009 07:58 a.m.
So I'm drinking a beer and thinking about lyrics that juggle in my mind as I try to think about all the solitude I play in the empty room. The coward in me avoids the crowds and the smiles. The struggles of apathy clings all around me. The smell of mold and smoke mixes into my core. My slumber are dreams of far off lands, and I'm undone again. The chill isn't in the bones but in the slow trudging world. And my eyes grow older with no change.
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to These Feelings Won't go Away- Citizen Cope

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Home again
06/30/2009 07:28 a.m.
I walked the shores of a tranquil beach and I stare out at the jetties, and suddenly the wind takes flight. I sulk as the end comes all around me as if choking the air out of me. I struggle on the vacation to Australia and I cling and hug trying to avoid the fact that I am gone tomorrow. The past is said and gone, and I am here in the misery of loveless people. When people care very little about me and the world all around. I drink down another drink as I try to figure out the obvious. I have no love and I have no hope. Struggle with the wine and the rum. And all my hands fall to pieces as I struggle to fight the sadness as the tear mixes with flesh.

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