joy of poetry - this is no VIRTUAL community
11/01/2002 01:47 p.m.

I am feeling renewed by the response to my "Birds" poem.  To think that I almost removed it because I thought it wasn't good enough for publishing on the site.  I wrote it in a very tired and numb state and didn't initially feel very much inspiration as I started writing it.  As I got into it  the words flowed out but I still didn't "feel great" - joy, whatever.  But I did try to craft something worthy of the subject.  It shows me that you don't have to feel in the mood or very inspired to do good art.  I have heard novelists and other artists talking about that.... how they get up every day at 5:00 am and work for 8 hours.  I don't think I could do that, but I sure would like to have a lot more time and energy for my poetry.
I also love reading other folks' work.  It does inspire me and loosen me out of the tensions of the day, of work, pressure, etc.  It is a kind of intimacy.  Well, no, it IS intimacy.  The way my fellow poets like Lavonuna and Anne reveal themselves and their struggles and feelings is just beautiful and inspirational to me.  They en-courage me... put the courage in me to do the same.  I am really starting to feel a part of this community.  I've heard my fellow sociologists talk about "virtual community" ... this is not virtual, it is real.  I can be my worst self when I come here and still feel accepted. 

Reflection on B's journal
10/16/2002 04:13 a.m.

B.  I appreciate your sharing your present state of being with me.  I really do.  I read your last three (or so) journal entries and if you will permit me, I will reflect on some of the things I "heard" in your writing.  First, I want to see donnie darko.   I love movies and have not heard of this one.  It if was thought provoking to you that's enough of a recommendation for me.

About those connections… I have come to realize that we are all connected … even if we don't realize it or believe it.  For me, it has been one of the great human experiences to be able to establish a spiritual connection with another through a relational encounter, through poetry, music, shared enthusiasm or angst, forgiveness, even conflict and anger.   A lot of these are enabled by language, some in  spite of language

I  remember studying in philosophy that gibberish about our being superior to non-human animals because of our "souls" and culture, and language, etc. etc.  Yes, it is true that human language DOES separate us from those other blessed creatures and that is unfortunate… I think it is when I  shut up and just BE with them that I really learn (e.g. my poem, Lingua Felina).  But I have to say that was NOT philosophy that led me to this truth, but the experience itself. 

With regard to the idea of not being able to understand the system of which we are a part… I agree and I disagree.  I agree that we are so wrapped up in the system that we can see it only from the inside, but I disagree that that is not NECESSARILY bad or dysfunctional.  The love of my family has often come after I really got to know what was inside the other and inside the system and its history  It's when I mistake my inside view as THE view, and therefore superior, that I falter.   On the other hand,  being a humanist and a social scientist, I see the validity and value of looking at my own system from outside perspectives.  Then I get ANOTHER understanding of it and begin to see it as RELATIVE to others, as DIFFERENT FROM others,  as well as PART OF or similar to OTHERS.  THAT is the value of philosophy and sociology from my point of view. 

I find it important, from time to time, (as in the demonstrations in Cincinnati) to be an activist and to separate myself from certain ideas and practices.  That is part of honoring who I am as a person and as a human being.  Having said that, it occurs to me that I often miss the humanity of others and their inner beauty, by engaging in philosophical or political arguments.   I have found that I can learn more and do more good for humanity when I am able to really listen to others, even in their woundedness and error (from my point of view, of course),  and, well… to love them where they are.  As I have gotten much older this is easier for me to do.  When I was younger it was necessary (I suppose) for me to try out my positions and arguments, to commit myself to them with fervor and attachment, as a way of finding what really fit for or belonged to me. 

Now, about egos.  I love some of your characterizations… the emptiness … slaves to free will…  My belief is that ego, especially when defined as a feeling of superiority to others, is a manifestation of our belief that we are separated from others.  It is our human way of building defenses against our perceived enemies.  The truly great people… well… dare I say it… the saints… are those who have little or no need to do that.  Some fairly contemporary examples… Mother Teresa, the Dali Lama, Gandhi … who consistently experience the letting go of ego and the union with the Universe. 

Of course, I cannot say, but it seems to me that the "brief and all emcompassing glance" you experienced was  your moment of letting go…  I have had a few of those moments myself, and the earlier ones seemed like chaos and anarchy of the mind, but when I discovered it was ok to just let go and drift with the current, THAT is when I experienced transcendence. 

As usual, my friend, I appreciate your thought-provoking words and the opportunity to think about these things and to sort the thoughts out by putting them to words.

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