My Boyfriend Is Incredible
11/07/2004 05:59 a.m.
I just have to tell everyone how completely wonderful Alan is. He came down to Pennsylvania last weekend to help with the dreadful moving process (and when I say dreadful...I mean it. I was not looking forward to it). He got here on Friday night. By the time he got here, a lot of my furniture had been moved (at least on to the second floor of the new apartment). We managed to tear a few holes in the wall in the process of bringing things upstairs. On Saturday, I had to go to school and I could not miss it. So my wonderful boyfriend went back and forth between the old and the new apartment moving whatever was left and cleaning the new apartment and organizing things. I got back from school and had a few tasks that I wanted done before Alan left the next day to go home.

Can I just say how patient and understanding he is? I have a queen sized bed (and obviously a queen sized mattress and box spring) Now the mattress was no problem getting up to the third floor (where the bedroom is), but after numerous people measured the area I had to move the box spring, I was told numerous times that there was absolutely NO WAY that the box spring was getting up to the third floor. I was offered many other suggestions from people (such as putting plywood on the bed and laying my mattress on that) to which I politely nodded and thanked them for their opinion.

Alan knew that I was not going to accept the fact that the box spring was not going upstairs, so the sweetheart that he is, he offered to help me take it apart to get it up there. Soooo... we took each individual staple out, so as to not tear the fabric, and we pried the nailed wood off and Alan pried the corners apart (which also happened to be glued). We then pulled the staples out that were holding the wood to the metal springs and after over an hour of taking it apart, and putting a few more holes in the wall struggling to get it upstairs, we managed to do it. Alan then put it back together for me (and it is sturdy...at least enough to hold the both of us, which is all that really matters :) ). After that he put together my desk (which is complicated) AND re-wired and re-put together my treadmill.

And not once did he complain about it. He just did it...because he knew it would make me happy. I have never in my life felt so confident that someone cares about me as much as Alan does. He would never have put up with me and my demands if he didn't love me a whole lot.

I am completely amazed at how much love I have for him and how every day just when I think that I couldn't possibly love him any more than I do, he does or says something to make me love him more. He is so wonderful and I am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life. :) I can't imagine being without him...
I am currently Loved
I am listening to I Had The Time Of My Life--Dirty Dancing

Comments (0)

Moving
10/29/2004 02:56 a.m.
Started moving into the new place today :) It's gonna be a long weekend of moving stuff.... :-/ But I have lots of help (including Alan :) ). My parents and sister will be helping me tomorrow morning / afternoon. PJ, Season, and Fran are helping me after work and Alan will be here around 9:00 pm. Hopefully we'll be able to sleep there tomorrow night. If I don't get done tomorrow I have Alan and my parents Saturday during the day (even though I have school). And if it goes until Sunday, I have Kathy and Dave and Alan. Hopefully we will get done no later than Saturday. I would like to spend some time with my sweetie where we can just relax and be together.

I found out today that I got the foster care position at work! :) I was so excited. I wanted to be in that unit since I started there. :) YAY!!

Oh and the Red Sox won the World Series!! :) WOOHOO!!!!!! (I think Alan has managed to make me switch my favorite baseball team.)

Only 22 hours until I see my sweetie and I still have tons of packing to do... so I had better get to it.
I am currently Overwhelmed
I am listening to Oh Brother Where Art Thou

Comments (0)

I'm Moving
10/25/2004 01:32 a.m.
Alan will be here in FIVE days!!! :) YAY!! I miss him so much.

I am moving this week.:) That's part of the reason that Alan is coming down...to help me move. Once this week is over I will be happy because I will be settled in the apartment that Alan and I will live in for the next 4 years or so. :) The only part that sucks is the actual "moving". Well it will be over soon and I get to see my sweetie so it makes it all the easier. :)

I LOVE ALAN NELSON!!




Oh yeah...I almost forgot... GO BOSTON! :)


I am currently Good
I am listening to World Series--Game #2

Comments (0)

Missing the Love of My Life
10/20/2004 03:17 a.m.
Had a long day today at work. Things are getting stressful. We have been pretty busy for the last week and a half. I just have to make it through this week and up to Thursday of next week. I took Friday off because I am moving. (Yes I am moving again. I dread moving. It sucks so much, but hopefully this will be the last time (at least for a few years). Alan and I are going to be sharing this new apartment come May. ) I can not wait until he moves here for good, but until then I anxiously look forward to every second we are able to spend together now. He is coming down to help me move. So he'll be here next Friday. I can't wait. Ten days until I can see my sweetie :) I miss him so much.

Spent last night on the phone with Alan for awhile watching the Yankees / Red Sox game. It's pretty funny because my favorite team is the Yankees and Alan's is the Red Sox. But I really hope the Red Sox win this series so they could go to the World Series. The Yankees are at the series almost every yesr. Alan got so excited when the Red Sox won last night. It was cute. Game number 6 is on right now. It is the bottom of the 8th and the Sox are winning 4-1. I am sure Alan is thrilled. :)

We picked "secret Santas" at work today. I got Season. She got me. We really aren't supposed to tell, but we tell each other everything since we share an office. :)
I am currently Devoted
I am listening to The Yankees / Red Sox game

Comments (0)

Twelve Days
10/18/2004 04:29 a.m.
I get to see Alan again in twelve days. I can not wait. I miss him so much.

I am PMSing so badly and I am so incredibly moody. I miss Alan, so that makes me sad. I feel really bad because I get moody and feel like I take it out on him when he doesn't really do anything. He is so understanding and wonderful about it. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. But I am so lucky to have him. I can not wait for him to be here with me again.

I love Alan Nelson! :)
I am currently Tired
I am listening to A Lifetime Movie

Comments (0)

Good Day
10/14/2004 02:19 a.m.
It's been a hectic week and I didn't even have to work on Monday because it was a holiday. Today was a pretty good day at work. I got thanked by a client for helping her through the past couple of months. She said that she felt like I was the only one who cared about her situation and that she didn't feel like I was only listening to her because it was my job. That made me feel good. It's rare that clients in my field actually thank you for helping them, so it was nice to hear.

Also my director questioned why I did not apply for the abuse unit. She said she felt that I have a lot of the qualities needed to work in that unit. So it was a nice compliment from her since that unit is the biggest challenge in the agency.

Myah got her stitches out today and her paws checked again. She is a healthy kitty again :) I was worried about her for awhile, so I am happy about that.

Also I found out yesterday that Alan upped his cell phone plan to more minutes. :) Which means I can talk to him more often now (just not tonight because he (and I) both have papers to write). I miss him sooo much. I really wish I was with him now. It would be so much nicer to be sitting here with my laptop writing my paper (or not) and be able to look up and see the man I am in love with sitting on the couch next to me. It would be nicer to know that when I was tired, I would have someone to snuggle up with in bed. Simple things that will make me so happy when he is finally here for good. I can't wait.

Well I do get to see him in 16 days, so that is a good thing :) I miss him a lot.
I am currently Content
I am listening to Take My Breath Away

Comments (0)

I hate being fat
10/09/2004 11:04 p.m.
I had school today. Pretty uneventful except for a test (which my prof calls an "in-class exercise") that I am half sure about. I was on-call all this week and so far not a single phone call *crosses fingers* I only have one more day to go.

Not feeling very good about myself today. I think it's time for another attempt at losing weight. Back to using the treadmill every day and eating a little bit better. It works on making me feel better for awhile, then I just get back to this yuck feeling that I have been having recently. I think this started when I was laying in bed with Alan and saw my thigh in the mirror... I was disgusted and decided at that point that I need to change something about myself. I know Alan will love me no matter what, but I think I need to change for me... I don't care if I lose only 10 pounds..I just need to do something. Plus it would absolutely kill me if at some point my weight did become a problem for Alan. I know he used to be heavy and he lost tons of weight... I just don't want to be an embarrassment to him....I can't do that to him...

Blah... oh well... time to go and do something. Probably exercise and think about my sweetie who I love so much... and miss like crazy
I am currently Gross
I am listening to Music

Comments (1)

Awesome Amazingly Wonderful Weekend
10/05/2004 12:08 a.m.
I am just writing about the most amazing person in my life...my sweetie, Alan. :)

Alan was supposed to come down here on Friday night because he supposedly had a test to take on Friday for school and we were going to a wedding on Saturday. On Thursday, he left a message on my answering machine about how he was going to be home late, so he wouldn't be online right when I got home from work. So I cleaned my apartment and was waitng for him to sign online. I waited until about midnight and I was just about to go to bed when the phone rang. I answered...it was Alan and he told me to open my door. I opened my front door and there he was standing there!!! I was soooo surprised! :)

So Friday we hung out all day. I took him to lunch and we met two of my co-workers at the restaurant. We ordered pizza for dinner and went to look at "our" new apartment. We got back and he realized that he forgot his white pants that went with his suit for the wedding. So we went to WalMart and KMart to look for white mens pants. We quicky found out that white men's pants are very difficult to locate. After returning to my apartment and realizing that the only other "nice" pair of pants that Alan had were green and with his dressy red shirt, he would look way too Christmassy. So we went back to Walmart again and Alan bought black pants. Then we came back and I had to write a paper for my class. While I did that, Alan did my dishes and cleaned my living room. (He is sooo thoughtful).

On Saturday, I had school in the morning :( then Alan and I got ready for Fran's wedding. Alan looked soooo hottt in his black pants, red button down shirt, and tie :) The wedding was nice. We had a great time (an even better time after ;) ).

Sunday we went to my mom's for dinner and then we came back to my apartment around 5:30-6:00 do he wouldn't have to drive too late. He didn't leave and I didn't push him to. I wanted him to stay sooo badly. He stayed until 1:00 am and then had to leave since he had school at 9:00 this morning. I swear it tears me apart when I have to say good-bye to him. I know it won't be for much longer, but it is soooo hard.

We had amazing talks, amazing connections, amazing love making, amazing everything this weekend. He is almost perfect... really truly he is. I am head over heels in love with him. And he told me this weekend that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me!! Yes me!! And Alan!!! Together FOREVER!!! :) Every time I think of him I smile...

Today I woke up for work (extremely exhausted and very sad without Alan there) and went out to my car and saw that my sweetie left a letter on my windshield telling me how much he loves me. I couldn't ask for anyone better than he is.

I love Alan Vincent Nelson with all of my heart and soul and I know we are meant to be together forever. :)

YAY FOR LOVE
YAY FOR ALAN

I am currently Exhausted
I am listening to Allison Krausse--When you say nothing at all

Comments (0)

Two Days
09/30/2004 02:24 a.m.
Two days until I see Alan :) I hope he's okay... he sounded different tonight on the phone. I hope I don't say things to him to make him upset or think I'm annoying or something. I always felt like I was a bother with Todd...and so far Alan has not made me feel that way. It's this damn low self-esteem I have going on which is 200 times better than it used to be, but I know I still lack confidence. Even during my review at work, my supervisor mentioned that he has more confidence in me than I do in myself... which I guess is true. I am just always questioning things about myself...

Did I do the right thing?
Did I say the right thing?
What does that person think of me?
Does he think I am stupid? etc. etc.

I just want to feel completely confident about one thing in my life... that's all.. just one thing... Why is it so difficult for me to believe that someone could and does love me for who I am? Alan is the closest I have ever been to confident in anything... but those nagging little "what ifs?" still linger in my head...

What if...? What if WHAT???!! What if I never met Alan... or if I never took the chance to love? I'd be pretty damn lonely right now... WHY DO I SIT HERE AND QUESTION THINGS SO MUCH?!! WHY CAN'T I JUST TAKE THINGS AS THEY ARE... GO WITH THE MOMENT... LIVE... LOVE... AND JUST BE HAPPY.

I AM HAPPY WITH ALAN!! SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY... HAPPIER THAN I EVER THOUGHT I COULD BE... I have honestly never met anyone that I feel this sure about... and the love I feel for him is so overwhelming sometimes...I can't even put it into words.

I LOVE ALAN NELSON!! I wish I could shout it to the world... for everyone to know what he means to me....Maybe I am crazy and maybe this is too soon for me to feel this way... but the funny thing is... I know Alan feels this way (or pretty damn close to it) too.

He'll be here on Friday and I can not wait for that! :)


I am currently Insecure
I am listening to Nothing

Comments (0)

Blah :(
09/26/2004 04:24 a.m.
I am having a miserable sucky week.

Myah got fixed and de-clawed on Wednesday. I brought her home yesterday and she was fine and now she won't use her one front paw and its all swollen. The vet bill was over $300 to get her fixed and de-clawed and now my poor kitty is in pain and I can't do anything for her until Monday when the vets office os opened again and een then they will probably charge me more money just to look at her paw.

I had class today, which was fine except I had a huge headache and I miscalculated the amount of time it would take me to get there and showed up 10 minutes late. I am surprised I made it at all. I knew I should not have drinked last night.

Alan can't come until Friday night to see me now, which really really sucks because with me having to go to class Saturday morning, that gives us Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday morning to spend together...It is completely not fair that we have to wait 3 weeks to see each other and we only get to spend a day and a half together. And then we'll have a two month wait because I won't see him again until Thanksgiving. The distance thing is really really starting to get to me now and we still have seven months to go. It is particularly bothering me this week and I feel bad because I am angry that he can't come Thursday, but I know it isn't his fault. I think it's because I am PMSing this week (at least it isn't when he will be here, so that gives me some hope :) ).

I guess I am just lucky that Alan is still coming at all, because his grandfather's and uncle's burial/spreading of ashes thing is this Saturday too and he just found out about it. He said he still wants to come down to see me because we had the wedding planned for a long time and also we wouldn't get to see each other for a long long time if he didn't. It does make me happy to know that Alan doesn't put me last all of the time like Todd did. Todd put me after everything...family, school, work, friends....everything. Alan doesn't do that. He at least makes me feel important and I definately don't doubt that he loves me a whole lot, which is more than I can say for my previous relationships.

I love Alan so much...and it just hurts a lot to not be able to see him. I think I have managed to cry before going to sleep every single night this week... (Again...that is probably partially due to PMS...) I just miss him sooo much.

I just want to crawl in a hole and fall asleep until May. That would be nice...Then Alan would be here and everything would be okay...

I am currently Gloomy
I am listening to Some TV show

Comments (0)

Next 10 Entries - Previous 10 Entries