At that time of life
I never thought of the possibility
Of losing a family roof instability
Struck chords of strife
Fear of loss was gone
My partner I loved
Mother of my children stoved
A merciless spike down

A bloodless heartless coup d’etat
In a place foreign to me
Foreign to my children three
I was forced to combat troughs
Of despair, survival was losing sight
Swallowing anxieties stew
Printed on hopeless screws
Of passionate plight

I called quiet desperation
Urgency was all that mattered
As prideful arrogance was splattered
Challenging impossible consternation
To begin playing twice the games
Loading boxes for delivery sane
While wrapping corporate ties isolation
Around my neck that strains

For each weekday converting night sweats
To corporate games of analysis
While exhaustion eased the paralysis
Of pain coursing through each step
Stretching unconsciously what my mind
Deemed possible, probable, comfortable
Never thinking if it was sustainable
It was brutal, difficult unkind

I was in a walking daze
Sleep deprived thoughtless
Aged twice package handler partners
Battling anger, kicking a box of chains
Toe crunched and crooked
Taped to its neighbor tightly
Cursing each step loudly
For being so damn stupid

This slow motion dance of insanity
Lasted for three years
The last year alone with silent tears
Rooming house stability sanctity
While listening to downstairs fucking
Cutting grass for utilities
Feeling isolated futility
Seeking a path to Carolina lurching

I had no fear left in substance
The road less traveled
Had ended as life unraveled
She took a chance
Gave me an opportunity
Conditioned on self paid training
I did not hesitate gaining
A livelihood full of parity

I was back with my three
For the rest of what was left
Of my personal theft
Mattered less than the tree
That was left to climb

12/15/2025

Posted on 12/15/2025
Copyright © 2026 James Zealy