they're all failed relationships, 
bits of crumpled petals from that dying rose you once saved when you were 12. 
it disintegrates in your fingers. 

it always has

you tried to keep them pressed between pages in your favorite book 
but you forgot they’re there when you read and they fall to the ground.
 
you stomp on the petals then, 
annoyed at their lack of regard for the effort you made in preserving them.
 
you stomp the way your trust was, 
you stomp the way you have to in order to not break

you didn't know it would come down to choosing life over death 
because no one bothered to show you how to climb a tree when you were a kid 
and not fall to the ground

but you tried anyways, you tried to climb higher 
and you couldn't

you once thought you flew a few feet off the ground only to realize miracles like that do not ever exist

it's all a failure. 

you attempt to climb and you fall. 
you attempt to love and you ruin it. 
you attempt to become something better but you do not know how, 
no one taught you how

but you scoop up what's left of those petals anyway 
and you save them in a jar for the day 
when someone loves you enough to ask.

12/23/2024
Posted on 12/23/2024
Copyright © 2025 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Richard Vince on 12/29/24 at 08:26 AM
Ouch. I feel very Seen. It feels like you have looked inside my brain and captured how totally inept I am when it comes to people way better than I ever could.
Posted by Anita Mac on 01/21/25 at 11:20 PM
This is a heartachingly real piece. I would expect no less. I'm glad to find something of yours again.