Clearing smokers throat
Waking up, nowhere to go
But down
Drown in come down
Smelling of stale cigarettes
The screech of passing jets
Are ringing in my ear
Lured into her indentation that she left
It seduces the noose tighter around my neck
Confined to my bed
Bound between the sheets
Toss and turn restless
Still counting dead sheep
Wide awake
Drenched in sweat
I Lay dreamless through the night
Next to her silhouette

Got a dictionary, cup of coffee, mass depression feeds me
Insomnia, migraine, mental break down
Does Karma conspire to bring me down?
Paranoia, nervous shakes, emotional melt down

Where's my form of methadone?
I guess I'll just go do it alone
In cold sweats
I grab my pyrex tube
And leather bag
Short days melt into weeks
Seem to drag
Lost in the fog
I exist somewhere between
A cheap brand of sleep and infected dream
Feels like splitting atoms
Right in my head again

Got a cemetery, apothecary, narcolepsy out to bury me
Hyperventilation, asphyxiation, keeping my head clouded
Do the stars conspire to rip me apart?
Atrophy, border philosophy, communication break down

I married you so long ago
The proof is written in scars I own
And I am watching my figure now
Trying to get thinner for you, my wife
All dressed down in plastic and crystal white
I say I'm okay but I'm hardly alright
Hiding behind my static
Electronic eyes that scan the horizon
Hoping that someday we will meet again
When our two roads meet the same dead end

I've got futility, my demon nods to me, mass obsession greeting me
Hypersomnia, nausea, nuclear melt down
Does the doc conspire to keep me in my bed again?
Cataplexy, stressors, tremors, cardiac shut down

My tired state of mind
Has me running out of time
And I'm fading fast
The only thing I ask
Is forgiveness for what's past
From you, my wife
All wrapped in plastic and crystal white
I say that I'm alright but I'm hardly okay
The truth lies somewhere between my words
And my mistakes, that have kissed me with human error
Fueling terror trapped in your despair
Forever, its You and I, together
My little ganguro nightmare

05/21/2021

Author's Note: I have had a lot of time to work on music. Without a band, I am doing guitar, vocals, bass, drums, mixing, and mastering all myself. It has given me time to revisit old or unfinished works. This is what "Everything you ever wanted" has turned into...and song finalized after not doing anything with it for a decade.

Posted on 05/21/2021
Copyright © 2024 Eric Seligmann