It was only once, but
It was enough: even
My temperamental memory
Cannot forget this.

Midnight air, contrasting
Kisses, subtle curves,
Secret knowledge that
Questing fingers found.
Put me back there and
I would know every inch
As though it were yesterday.

And yet I would also
Know what happened
Before, and after:
Diversion, distraction,
Dismissal, disappointment.

Something tells me I would
Opt for the unknown,
For a chance of actual
Closeness, feeding wandering
Hearts not wandering eyes.

Back then, though,
All that was beyond me.
I would merely have
Hurt a friend instead
Of an acquaintance.

Different pictures would
Fill my memory, but
There would be a
Her shaped hole,
Drilled out by my
Adolescent folly:

Yet another receptacle
For guilt, another space
Where regret for what
I did collects like
North western rain.

01/03/2020

Posted on 02/05/2020
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince